Half-life
by LastDayOfTVD
Summary: After Elena's death, she's forced to make a choice she never wanted. That's when she learned she needed to die before her life could really begin. (AU from the season 3 finale.)
1. Chapter 1

The rush of water filled Elena's ears, and an overwhelming sense of deja-vu threatened to overwhelm her. The past few minutes played through her mind in agonizingly slow motion.

She'd been on the phone with…Damon? No. Caroline.

Then Matt was slamming his fists against the steering wheel.

And then... and then?

Elena struggled to open her eyes, but her eyelids had never been so heavy. She wasn't in the truck any longer. She couldn't be. She was cold and wet and trapped in the darkness.

Trapped. Yes, she was trapped. Water enveloped her. It wasn't a bad dream. It wasn't her mind playing tricks on her. This was real. Her eyes fought against the desire to close and stay closed. She needed to wake up. She had to wake up. If she didn't…if she didn't, something bad would happen.

She won the battle against her eyelids and instantly wished she hadn't.

Matt was lying slumped over the wheel - unconscious but breathing. The cab of the truck rapidly filled with the same tepid water that stole her parents from her almost exactly two years ago. The bubble of air at the roof of the truck was rapidly dwindling away.

"Matt. Matt!" Elena gulped some of the precious air left in the cab in her struggle to wake him. They'd been friends since they were both in diapers, and he was here because of her. Just like her parents had died in this spot…because of her.

No one else was dying because of her. It stopped here.

"Matt." Elena took one last full breath as the water level rose to cover her lips and mouth and eyes. How long could someone go without oxygen? Since he was unconscious, he didn't know to hold his breath. He gagged and gave a weak cough.

Panic gripped at her.

How many times had she almost died in the past year? In the past few months? In the past few days?

If she could breathe, she'd give a grim laugh. She'd taken on a vampire with a handful of pencils and survived, yet her demise would be drowning in a truck. But somehow it was still fitting, as she should have died here two years ago. And this time, she'd be dying alongside the best friend anyone could ask for... unless-

Unless she could get out of the seatbelt and get out of the truck. Matt was the lifeguard of the pair, but Elena had always been a strong swimmer – at least before the accident. After the accident, well, no one had questioned the fact that pretty much she avoided swimming altogether.

Her fingers fumbled with the buckle. Damn it, Matt's ancient truck!

This thing had always been cranky. This wasn't the time for the truck to work against them. Seatbelts were supposed to ensure their safety – not seal their fate in the watery depths.

Her lungs burned, and her eyes filled with tears. Maybe that was simply the water swirling around her head. The pounding in her chest kept time with her fingertips as she struggled to free Matt. Maybe if she could get him out, they wouldn't both have to die.

Just when she thought it was time to give up, just when the cab of the truck swam in even murkier darkness, just when her chest threatened to explode – something was outside the window.

Not just something. Someone.

For an instant, she looked for a swirl of coal-black hair. But the shape had a face... Stefan's. Of course.

The door flew off the truck with a soundless shriek. His arms reached for her, but she stopped him, pointing to Matt. Stefan's eyes widened, and if they'd been where they could breathe, he'd probably try to argue. Right now, though, she could only get the message to him through the force of her will.

He hesitated for half-a-heartbeat. Then he wrenched Matt from behind the wheel. Elena wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. Matt wouldn't die tonight – not because he'd been trying to get her to safety. And that was good.

Her fingers and toes started to tingle, and a fuzzy feeling swam inside her. No one else would die.

The thought swirled inside her with the same intensity of the brackish water flowing around her head. No one else would die.

But they would. As long as Alaric was alive, her friends would be in danger. Caroline. Stefan. Bonnie's mom...

Damon.

Her heart skipped a beat, and it wasn't because she was drowning. In a strange moment of clarity, their last conversation played out in her mind, and she remembered the hesitant tone in his voice. He said he'd see her again. Soon.

He'd been lying.

God, why hadn't she realized it then? Realized it when it might have mattered. But it still could. They were all in danger as long as Alaric was alive. And Alaric would be alive until…

Elena's ears started to ring. Her heart wanted to explode. She wasn't going to make it. Stefan should be back in mere seconds. And if he made it back to her, they'd all still be in danger. She couldn't do it. She couldn't let them be in danger.

Not when she could stop him.

She squeezed her hands into such tight fists, she thought her skin would tear. She closed her eyes tightly. It sounded strange, but she didn't want to see death coming. And it was coming, because she was inviting it.

She opened her mouth and took in a deep gulp of water.

Mercifully, everything around her melted into the blackness around her.

oOo

His brother was gone. His brother was gone. In the blink of an eye, the young man he'd once sworn eternal allegiance with was simply gone. The immortal Klaus, the most powerful force in nature... was gone.

No part of his being could accept those words, even if they'd been uttered by his sister. Rebekah was simply mistaken. Her eyes deceived her.

Or Klaus was deceiving them. The details simply didn't measure up.

The Mystic Falls vampires were alive. They were still walking and breathing... existing. And yet his brother had died? Klaus sired their blood line – of that he was quite certain. If Klaus were gone, they should be as well. Something clearly wasn't right.

Tires screeched in the distance, interrupting his thoughts. The sound of a thousand rocks striking the surface of the water followed closely behind. And then he heard a scream.

Not just any scream - it was the sort of primitive scream that needed no words to express the depths of its pain. Elijah knew only one thing that could send Stefan so deeply into those depths. Only one thing could propel Stefan Salvatore into that much horror mixed with grief. And the thought of something happening to Elena chilled the blood in his veins.

Elijah ran.

More vague noises directed his way. Splashing. Coughing. The kind of sputter Elijah had long ago learned signaled impending death. He sped through the woods, unencumbered by the filtered moonlight. All too quickly, he arrived at Drowning Creek.

Drowning Creek. He cringed at the name. Honestly, what kind of insanity caused the first settlers to this out-of-the-way place to name the only way into town Drowning Creek? Unless the one who bestowed the name had a premonition for all the lives the ribbon of water would someday claim.

He broke through the last of the trees and stood on the water's edge just looking at the scene in horror. A rainbow-sheen of oil danced atop the water, and ripples disturbed the surface, an aberration in the still night. A handful of bubbles signaled something had gone wrong.

But he didn't need to see the water or hear the bubbles pop, he simply needed to glance at the drenched form to see something was wrong. Matt sat hunched and bent at the waist, palms in the mud, his eyes searching the brackish depths.

"What happened?" Elijah was at Matt's side before the boy even realized he'd arrived. Matt blinked and shook his head in disbelief. He was in shock, but Elijah had no time for kid gloves. He knelt at the boy's side, took Matt's chin in his hand, and met his wavering stare. "Tell me what happened."

"Rebekah." Matt's voice had the far-away quality that signaled his mind was trying to retreat rather than deal with the facts at hand. "I was driving and then... And then she was just there." His words rose in pitch as if he were asking himself a question.

"And what happened then?"

Matt's eyes returned to their vigil, watching the now-still water. "I…I didn't want to hit her." His eyes blinked, clearly replaying the events in his mind. "She was standing in the middle of the road. She knew I'd have to drive into the water. She wanted me to wreck the truck."

Rebekah had always been impulsive. And, he had to admit, more than a touch vindictive. And he had no question that she absolutely hated Elena. But this? They'd given their word she wouldn't be harmed.

Before Elijah had the chance to process what he'd just heard, the stillness of the creek was broken. Stefan emerged, holding a dripping, limp form. He didn't need to ask Stefan the question he couldn't bring himself to voice. Rather than stay here and linger in his grief at the loss whose life was cut far too short, he retreated back into the trees from where he'd come.

It was time for him to have a discussion with his sister.

oOo

Ric's fist connected with Damon's jaw, filling his vision with a multitude of stars while also knocking him back against something hard. Was it the car? Or maybe the oversized toolbox. He guessed it didn't really matter. The end result was the same…he was lying on the floor with his former-best-friend's foot planted on his neck.

He wasn't exactly certain why, but it was in that moment that he knew this truly was the end. One of them wasn't making it out of this storage building alive. Even if Alaric hadn't been some type of invincible monster, Damon wouldn't have been able to kill him.

Not when he knew what the cost would be.

If Damon killed Ric, he'd lose someone else too. Someone far more valuable to him than his own life. He just wished he'd really told her goodbye. He'd lied to her when he said he'd see her soon.

And he suspected she knew it. Something in the way she hesitated when she said goodbye. Her voice had just the slightest not-quite-right lilt to it. She'd chosen his brother, but she still wanted Damon to be happy too. Typical.

But now he was about to die without a decent goodbye to her. A goodbye where he could look into those doe-eyes and pretend they weren't swimming with tears. A goodbye where he could taste those tears as he pressed his lips against hers.

A foot caught him in the stomach, sending what little air was left in his lungs out in a surge. Even knowing he was about to die, he couldn't convince himself to lie back and take it.

Damon reached up and grabbed hold of Ric's foot, twisting it at the ankle, sending him off-balance. Then he used Ric's weight for leverage, pulling himself to his feet. He thrust one quick jab into Ric's stomach, surprised when his opponent stopped and gasped for breath.

Invincible his ass.

A surge of surprise washed through him. Maybe he'd make it out of here after all. His eyes darted around the room to find the quickest path to escape. Maybe he hadn't lied to Elena after all.

But the moment of elation was short-lived. Without Damon laying a hand on him, Ric stumbled not once, not twice, but three times before landing on his knees. A faint sheen covered Ric's forehead as he clutched at his throat.

"What's. Going. On?" His friend's voice choked out of the body of the man Damon now only knew as an enemy.

Damon watched in horror as Ric's face took on a gray tone followed by black veins snaking up from beneath the collar of his shirt. No. God, no! If there was a God in heaven, He needed to make this stop. Because only one thing could kill Ric. "Stay with me, Ric." He held his friend in his arms as Ric dropped to the ground. "No. No. No!"

The echo of his own voice was his only answer. Ric couldn't be gone. Damon refused to admit it. Because if his friend was gone…

Damon was in his car, but he didn't remember walking through the hallway, going down the stairs, or pushing through the doorway. By the time he was capable of thought again, he was sitting behind the steering wheel driving into a crisis he didn't understand.

It would help if Stefan would answer his phone. Or Caroline would answer hers. Or even Elijah. Their sudden silence was…troubling. As his foot pressed the accelerator to the floorboard, he cursed their idea to hide Klaus' body so far from Mystic Falls.

When an immortal vampire was looking for something, did a few hours' drive really matter that much? It made sense at the time, but now it was simply a hindrance to getting back to the town he never should have left.

Damn that flip of the coin. Fate took him away from Mystic Falls at exactly the wrong time. He should have been there, making sure Elena was safe.

When it came to her safety, he didn't even trust his own brother. Stefan had failed Damon before. He'd done things that put her life in danger. If anything happened to Elena…

Miles passed in a blur.

Miles passed too slowly.

His car hugged the curves and flew down hills. He drove through the little country streets, unafraid of being seen. No one would catch him. And if some local cop had the misfortune of stumbling across his path, he'd regret it.

One thought after another filled his mind, each less likely than the one before it. As much as he desperately wanted to cling to hope, the longer Stefan went without answering his phone, the worse he knew everything was.

Still, deep inside, he was holding out hope.

Maybe Esther was rusty. She could have messed up the spell. How long had she been locked up in that coffin anyway? When she did the linking spell, something could have gone wrong.

He clung to that thought until he approached Wickery Bridge.

Damon saw the flashing lights first. Two fire trucks were closest to the bridge. Three police cars were parked haphazardly along the bank. Two different wreckers looked as if they could pitch into the water at any second.

Damon skidded to a stop just behind Liz's car. He flew out of the driver's side in search of the one person who might be able to tell him what in hell had happened. His pulse churned in his ears and a sour taste welled in the back of his throat.

Liz stood next to the water with her hand on her hip. Damon didn't have to see her face to know she was looking for something. A jumble of voices reached his ears. He heard Matt talking with someone he didn't know.

Matt. Matt was driving Elena. If Matt was here, maybe she was too. For a split-second, relief washed over him. It hung, suspended in mid-air, almost within reach. Then he saw an all-too-familiar form.

Stefan stood on the edge of the woods, the feeble moonlight casting him into shadow. From his bent head to his stooped shoulders to the way he rested his palm against the trunk of a tree, he was the picture of despair.

Rage surged through him. The quarterback was sitting in the police car, and Elena was nowhere. If his brother…

Damon couldn't even complete the thought.

"Where is she?" Not even thinking about who might see him, Damon rushed full-speed at Stefan, catching him off-guard and knocking him against the trunk of the tree. "Where is Elena?"

The expression on Stefan's face told him far more than any words could convey, still, his brother had the misfortune of trying to answer. "It was Rebekah." Stefan's eyes were glazed and unfocused. "When she heard about Klaus…"

"I don't care about Rebekah or Klaus. I want to know where Elena is and why Matt is sitting in the back of a car."

Stefan shook his head like he was trying to come to terms with what had happened. "Matt wasn't thinking. He swerved to miss Rebekah."

"Get to the Elena part of the story." Damon wrapped his hand around Stefan's neck, pressing him tighter against the tree.

"I swam down. Matt was unconscious, but Elena wasn't."

"Where is she?"

Stefan's eyes filled as he bit down on his bottom lip while shaking his head. "She wouldn't let me save her first. She kept shaking her head and pointing to him."

"And you did it?"

"It was only going to take a second to get to the surface! She was fine! She could hold her breath. She could wait. It's what she wanted-"

"It's what she wanted?" For the first time in a very long time, Damon almost killed his brother. "They were in a truck at the bottom of Drowning Creek and you listened to her?" Damon dropped a branch he hadn't remembered breaking off the tree.

"She wanted me to save Matt."

"Save Matt. So The Grill wouldn't lose its busboy? So the school would still have its back-up quarterback?" Damon was prepared to launch into another round of accusations, but then he noticed that Stefan wasn't looking at him. Instead, his eyes were locked on something in the distance.

Almost on instinct, Damon knew what he'd find.

He didn't want to turn around. He didn't want to see. He didn't want to see _her,_ but he had to do it.

A black bag almost blended in with the darkness of the night. Here, in the middle of the woods, it could have been filled with almost anything. Leaves. Branches. Trash left over from a Boy Scout clean-up weekend. But it wasn't just anything. It wasn't just anything, and he knew it.

He released his grip on Stefan and started walking. In reality, the bag was merely a few feet away. But tonight that felt like a mile.

One step. Two steps.

Three.

His knees buckled, and he collapsed next to the body bag. "No." He could barely form words. "No." If he'd been here, she would still be with him. Yes, she'd be mad at him. She might never speak to him again. He might be watching her grieve in Stefan's arms.

But she'd be alive.

His fingers closed on the zipper. He thought Stefan tried to tell him not to do it, but words weren't exactly making sense any longer. With agonizing slowness, he unzipped the bag.

Her hair was wet. He wasn't sure why that surprised him. When he pictured Elena in his mind, he always pictured her with perfectly straightened hair that was so shiny it almost glowed. Now, though, he could tell her hair was normally curly. And it looked darker than normal against her too-white skin.

Her face was expressionless. He'd seen a lot of death in his years on earth. Hell, he'd caused a lot of it. Elena's features weren't locked in fear and horror like so many he'd seen. Instead, she almost looked peaceful. A question tugged at the back of his mind. But for now, that question needed to stay buried.

He couldn't help himself. He placed his hand against her too-cool cheek, caressing it with his thumb like he'd done so many times before. Time passed. Seconds. Minutes. Maybe hours. No one disturbed him. Liz and the rest of the police were busy. They'd deal with Elena's body later.

Stefan stayed away – either out of guilt or fear of what Damon might do. For the first time that night, his brother made a good decision.

Cheers went up, and Damon's eyes snapped to the scene in the distance. A group of men excitedly pointed to Matt's truck dangling from one of the wreckers. Feral anger threatened to overcome him. No one should be happy right now.

He turned back to Elena. The corner of her eye twitched.

He must have been seeing things.

He blinked. So did she.

She coughed and gagged and sputtered like a child who'd swallowed too much water in the pool. Her brown eyes were filled with a mix of confusion and fear. "Damon, what's happening…I was…how did I?"

That's when he remembered what happened one night before. Elena had collapsed in a pool of blood. Jeremy had taken her to the hospital where Meredith assured him that she'd be fine.

Meredith.

"What did Meredith do?"

* * *

_LastDayOfTVD is the pen name of the writing team of NotEnoughPotter and LastDayOfMagic._


	2. Chapter 2

The anticipated sip of amber liquor never passed her lips.

Rebekah snapped her head to the side, eyes narrowed as she prepared to deliver a tongue-lashing to the unfortunate soul who dared to yank her drink from her hand. Elijah raised his brow, his own ire fanned by his sister's vindictive actions. He watched her acidic reply die in her throat as she realized he was the one perched on a bar stool next to her.

"E-Elijah," she stuttered. She faintly cleared her throat, composing herself and making a lame attempt to feign indifference at his presence at the Grill.

This only fueled his anger, and he took a swig of the bourbon before setting it down with a resolute _thud._ "That's all you have to say?"

"I did what needed to be done." The set of her chin was an open challenge, a reminder of their departed brother's stubborn mindset as well. This was why his fair-haired siblings were often thick as thieves.

"And now Elena is dead after I promised to keep her alive."

Rebekah rolled her eyes. "I'm so sick of the knots everyone twists themselves in over this bland girl. So what? People die every day."

Red flashed before his eyes, her blasé indifference enough to send him into a rage. She was fortunate he refused to fly off the handle in a public establishment. His teeth were clenched as he leaned in, his voice low so no one else could hear the menacing edge that meant there was hell to pay.

"You purposely went against our agreed-upon plan and my word. You rendered it all invalid with your ridiculous jealousy. And you sit here before me, gloating. Do you understand that you _stole_ her life? How can you show any pride in these deplorable actions?"

_"Your_ agreement went out the window the moment Alaric staked our brother and turned him to ash before my eyes!" She snatched the glass back, giving him a derisive side glance as she finally took a sip. "Maybe you're satisfied to run again, but Elena Gilbert is no more important than our family."

"I did this for our family, Rebekah! And now you're saying I put her before you? Niklaus?"

"Yes, I am." He stared at her, mouth agape, but she didn't waver. "The truth hurts, doesn't it? You allow yourself to be manipulated by these damned Petrovas, and we all suffer for it. First Finn, now Nik... I refuse to be next."

She waited on his rebuttal, but he only let out a deep sigh. He couldn't wholly dispute her claims. Yes, he had admired Elena. He allowed her humanity and grace to enchant him - to get under his skin. Perhaps that made him pathetic as Rebekah had called him. But the darkness of the world needed to be tempered by compassion, and he couldn't sit silently as Elena's innocent life was extinguished. And for that event to occur at the hands of his siblings was his worst nightmare.

But there lie his conundrum, because he never wanted to lose his siblings either, even if they didn't often see eye to eye. Still, Elena hadn't played a direct or willing role in Klaus's death. That blame rested squarely on Esther's shoulders, and he knew those in Mystic Falls would be gunning for Rebekah now that she took matters into her own hands.

"You may find yourself on the wrong end of the white oak stake if you don't apologize," he said somberly. "Or even if you do."

She snorted. "As if you care. It's not like you'd mourn me anyway."

Her stool scraped loudly across the tile floor, earning glances from the other patrons of the Grill. She grabbed her jacket and purse from the backrest, throwing them over her arm as she started to walk away. He caught her bicep, and she glared at him.

"Let go. Before I cause a scene."

He loosened his grip, wary of her temper. "Where are you going?"

"Not to see the Salvatores," she replied. "I'm going to live my life, Elijah. And I suggest you do the same. Don't mope around Mystic Falls over what's already done. Damon and Stefan can take care of that."

His gaze narrowed, but she only smiled before walking away.

"Goodbye, brother," she called once she reached the door. "And you're welcome."

He gave a second's consideration to chasing after her and forcing to apologize, but he knew she was long gone once she passed through the exit. Rebekah had no immediate plans to show her face after that parting shot. He had to pick his battles, and his current choice was to make right by the Salvatores, if that was at all possible. He realized the loss of Elena may be insurmountable, but he had to try. He didn't want to spend eternity looking over his shoulder, not with the white oak stake still in play.

Elijah smoothed his jacket after he stood, and he placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter. The irony wasn't lost on him that his sister had been sitting on Alaric's self-designated stool.

oOo

The voices wavered in volume between shouting and despair and quiet concentration. One moment she felt like she was sitting in an isolated tunnel - the next a deafening hurricane. Her head was pounding in time to her pulse, and her vision blurred too when she could bear to open her eyes. Somehow this was worse than drowning... And why hadn't she died? She thought for sure she'd be seeing the light and the tunnel described by so many - not Damon's face. That was a shock to her system. She didn't _want_ to be saved, dammit. Why were they always trying to save her? Didn't they see she was the root of the problems?

"...of course Meredith's not answering her phone! I swear to God, I will tear that hospital apart-"

"And what will that help?"

"Nothing, Stefan. Nothing. But maybe it'd make me feel better!"

"Go ahead and say it. You blame me. You would've saved her first. _You_ would've let Matt die-"

"Yes! I would've let her hate me, so she wouldn't be like this right now. But you can't bear for her to be angry at you, so now she's dead. And that is _your fault,_ Stefan-"

"Stop." Elena felt like she was on sea legs, and she couldn't do much more than stand without her head swimming and the light coming in at all odd angles. Objects jumped out at her and receded, and she had to force herself to breathe. But she had commanded their attention, even if she wasn't physically able to wedge herself between the feuding brothers.

Those blue eyes zeroed in on her in a way that made her stomach flip, and snippets of a memory came through...

_It's because I love you that... I can't be selfish with you... why you can't know this.  
_  
Damon - he had made her forget something.

And right now, she could say nothing. Everyone's emotions were already set at high and on a collision course. That would bring the tension to nuclear levels. What Isobel had said was true, and they all knew it and tiptoed around it, but he had said it to her out loud at one point.

Sometime.

She didn't know when.

Still, hearing the echo of his words in her mind made them real, and if Stefan ever found out it would be so much worse. But that's what it was... why Damon was staring at her. He was angry, but he loved her, and he hadn't yet lost her. She focused on keeping her knees from buckling as the silence drew on a little too long.

"It's not Stefan's fault," she declared, crossing her arms. This was the part she needed to brace against because the top was about to blow from the dark-haired volcano. "He had enough time to save Matt and me but... I wanted to save all of you."

And there was the subtle shift of realization in both blue and green gazes.

"Elena -" Stefan started, but Damon was already moving in on her.

"You did this on _purpose?"  
_  
If anger could make someone levitate he would have cleared the atmosphere by now and gone straight out into space. But he didn't get it, because she was always his priority in spite of the bigger picture.

_Because he loves you, _she thought, and she choked down a sob as she pictured what the aftermath would have been if she didn't wake up. What it still might be if she didn't turn.

"He wouldn't have stopped." She stared at Damon, as calm as she could while the urge to feed distorted the world around her.

"So we would have left town! Instead you _killed_ yourself. And don't lie, Elena. You didn't think you were coming back."

"You're right. I didn't."

Damon made a disgusted noise as he turned away, but Stefan still stood watching her. And she was transported back to their hike before the sacrifice, when she tearfully confessed she never wanted to be a vampire. His face now mirrored his crushed expression then.

The six a.m. sunlight starting to filter in the windows made the room too bright, blown out like a daydream. She was momentarily distracted as the tiniest particles she'd never seen before danced and shimmered, and that's what she was certain she was suspended in. A dream.

She wasn't really going to have to make this decision, the one Stefan wanted to beg her to make yet didn't want to force her will. The thought of going on without her was making his brow weary, his inner turmoil of wanting her to turn but not playing out on his face. She wouldn't have to tell him that she didn't think she could do it, potentially sending him over the edge when he had to sit by and watch her die a second time. Her drowning mind was playing tricks on her... in a few seconds her imagination would go black and this would all be over. She'd be free.

Except everything turned sharp with the screeching of brakes outside. They all turned in the direction of the doorway, and she recognized Jeremy's panicked voice yelling Stefan's name.

She felt the blood drain from her face, and Stefan looked thankful to have something else to focus on, a situation to fix. "I'll talk to him."

He was out in the foyer before her brother barreled inside, and Elena sunk down into the couch cushions. She was suspended in the nightmare of witnessing what she had forgotten about in the cold watery depths. Jeremy. He would have been alone - _completely_ alone. The irony was that she killed herself to kill Ric, their guardian. And that left no one to pull him out of this the way he needed. Unless...

_"Matt was in an accident. They said someone died. Elena was with him. I know she was. I'm the one who carried her to the truck, Stefan!"  
_  
Damon sat down next to her with a sigh of silent reassurance, even if he was mad at her.

_"I saw Ric… He came to say goodbye. But he couldn't die unless... she's dead, isn't she? My sister is_ dead!"

The way Jeremy's voice cracked then - Elena winced.

"I can't do this... but I have to," she whispered.

"I know."

She bit at the inside of her cheek as she looked up at him, the urge to cry overwhelming her. There were a thousand things she wanted to say. Elena wanted to pretend Damon didn't get it, but the problem was that he did. The difference was, he wouldn't let her off the hook like Stefan.

_"You need to see something. But you have to promise me you won't freak out."  
_  
_"What are you saying?"  
_  
She couldn't prolong the torture anymore. But Jeremy was no less horrified to see her materialize in front of him.

"Elena," he breathed, and his chest started to heave. "No, oh no, no..."

That was when she finally lost it. She clutched at Jeremy's trembling form, her arms circling around his neck as she tried to comfort him. But he was in shock, his mind overloaded, his arms stiff at his sides.

"I'm so sorry, Jer," she sobbed. She could smell the salt of her tears and the iron in his bloodstream when she burrowed her chin against his shoulder. She forced herself to ignore it, even though the vampire blood in her system was singing out.

Within moments, his hands were on her shoulders wrenching her away frantically, his eyes wide as his mind rolled forward. "Did you turn?"

"Not yet, but I can't leave you-"

"No, no - Elena, goddammit! You can't do this! You can't be one of them." Her shoulders rocked as he gripped at her, trying to make her understand. Damon was on edge in her periphery, ready to intervene, but she silently willed him to stay put. "You have to promise!"

He stood there, everything in his being hinged on her agreement. The moment she shook her head, Jeremy shouted again, his hands gripping at his hair. Elena worried he might literally tear it out.

His back faced her now, and she forced an authoritative tone to her voice. "I am not leaving you. I owe it to Mom and Dad, and Jenna, and even John-"

He whirled around. "They wouldn't want you to be a vampire! John died to keep you human."

That was the kick in the gut, his way of turning the argument. Her shoulders fell, defeated. But he didn't look pleased with himself. He looked devastated and terrified. He was losing his human sister either way. And that was why she knew she had to turn. He could be furious with her, but she couldn't willingly die if he was left behind.

"I know. They'd hate it." Tears started to fall again, and she rubbed them away. "Still, if it means the difference between someone being here for you... Jer, there's _nothing_ worse than being alone."

His mouth opened and closed. She couldn't imagine everything he'd thought of saying, but she knew it all held the capacity to wound her. Ultimately, he only shook his head, muttering, "I - I can't."

He backed towards the door, keys in hand. Jeremy was leaving her.

"Please - we need to talk about this!"

"I can't be the reason you do this."

He turned to grab the door handle, but Damon was there, blocking him. "You're not done."

"I've heard enough for today."

"Just... let him go, Damon." Elena felt her heart in her throat, worrying about his propensity for impulsive violence. She wouldn't let herself breathe until he stepped to the side.

Jeremy didn't even look back.

oOo

_Who knew Ric enjoyed barbecue so much? I'd say that's medium-well.  
_  
"It's not funny. I don't even know if I can salvage you."

Bonnie sighed as she stood over the coffin, the smell of charred skin and hair making her stomach churn. She forced herself to look. He wasn't completely burned beyond recognition - just partially.

_Now's not the time for insecurity, little witch. I'm anxious to return to my body.  
_  
"Believe me, so am I."

Anyone who stepped inside the tomb would think Bonnie Bennett had officially lost her mind. But she did what she had to do, to save her friends and her mother. She hated Klaus Mikaelson with all of her being, but in those moments when Ric was closing in, she had to save him, too - by making him jump into her body.

It was a little different than the spell he'd used to possess Ric a few months before. This time, he couldn't take over without her consent. She controlled him, kept him safe from harm until she could sneak back into the storage locker and wheel his body out. Surprisingly he'd been relatively quiet, despite holding the upper hand here. Maybe he worried her temper might banish him somewhere worse.

She gripped at the white oak stake and yanked it from his chest. She stumbled backwards from the force, and it clattered to the ground.

_Don't lose that.  
_  
"I know. I'll be keeping it."

_We'll see.  
_  
"Yeah, I don't think so. You want out? I get the stake."

_So give it to Elijah.  
_  
She considered it for maybe a millisecond... "No. Then you know where it is. And Rebekah too - you guys are like the Olsen twins of revenge."

His chuckle echoed between her ears. _The Olsen twins... never imagined I'd be compared to a pouty pair of teenage girls.  
_  
"Oh, you've got the pouty part down. Now shut up. I need to concentrate."

He complied, and she dug the scrawled spells out of her pocket. One to reverse the effects of fire (after she'd heard how both Mikael and Finn had gone up in flames), the other to move him back into his proper form. She could have dragged the Bennett grimoires along with her, but they were too precious to risk having them in his presence. The Martins' interest in her magic had made her protective of it. She knew how easily it could fall into the wrong hands.

Bonnie next pulled a water bottle and hammered silver bowl out of her bag, and then she sat on the cool ground. She set rose quartz and hematite stones inside and then doused them with the water. She needed to heal his skin and infuse him with blood to circulate. This was the only way. She'd chosen large crystals from her collection, but she didn't know if it would be enough. She eyed the white oak stake... maybe she could draw on its energy.

_What are you doing?  
_  
"Maybe we won't have to fight over this after all," she muttered, throwing the stake inside the bowl too. She blocked him out before he could protest. Then she sat cross-legged and she closed her eyes. Klaus was where she needed him - trapped inside a bubble in her mind, ready to leave. And she was going to get him there.

Bonnie began to chant low, the Latin phrases rolling off of her tongue as if it were second nature. As she became more practiced, she barely needed to look at the spells beyond the first few words - her body and mind took over, and she imagined that magic was as much part of her DNA as her greenish eyes and dark hair. She felt heat against her face, humid air, but she refused to open her eyes until she'd chanted seven times - once for each chakra.

It felt like a sauna by the time the last few words were uttered, but she slowly opened her eyes and looked in the bowl. Nothing left but rusty ash and a film of condensation. She scrambled to her feet with nervous anticipation - this was one of the biggest spells she'd performed yet. Alone, no less. She peered over the side...

It had worked! She couldn't help reaching forward to touch his unmarred skin. No illusions here - he looked perfectly alive or undead or whatever.

Bonnie could feel the exhaustion of power seeping into her muscles and mind. Normally she would stop now, take the time to pace herself. But she knew she couldn't truly rest until this was done. She took a moment to sip some water and stretch. This was the less taxing of the spells anyway.

Once she was certain she'd mustered enough energy, she placed her hands over Klaus's stilled heart and closed her eyes again. His anxiousness spilled over, washing through her. She took a deep breath to reassure them both. "Almost done. Just like I promised."

Within five minutes, she felt him shift under her hands. She opened her eyes and he was standing next to her, looking down at himself in awe.

"See? I knew you were more than capable."

She gave a satisfied shrug, not wanting to preen under his compliment. "What can I say? I work well under pressure."

He chuckled again. "That you do, Bonnie Bennett. And you took care of the white oak stake problem."

"Yeah, but... we have an agreement. I brought you back, you need to behave. I have other ways to take you down if you decide to 'slip up.'"

"Of course," he answered, bowing before her smoothly. His theatrics made the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, and she tried to shake off the ominous cast to his tone. "And now, if you'll excuse me... I have siblings to attend to."

She was alone again before she could make him give her his word.

* * *

_LastDayOfTVD is the pen name of the writing team of NotEnoughPotter and LastDayOfMagic._


	3. Chapter 3

Bonnie eased her car to a stop against the curb in front of her house. She wasn't sure when she'd last been this tired. Maybe the night she and Grams had unsuccessfully re-sealed the tomb. Yes. Probably then. Bonnie reached for her bag, not able to suppress a grim laugh. And that night ended just as well as last night.

When she'd finally walked out of the tomb, she was honestly surprised to see the sunrise. How long had she been standing there? When she realized Klaus was gone, she'd just stood there. Waiting. For nothing. Once he was gone…he was gone. She knew he wouldn't be coming back. At least not for her.

She scooped her phone out of the cup holder in the center console. Still no return call from Elena. She must have tried to call her a dozen times on the short trip between the tomb and her house. Elena needed to know that Klaus was probably coming for her.

Someone needed the warning.

Bonnie had scrolled through every number stored in her phone. No one was answering. Not Elena. Not Caroline. Not Matt. Hell, Damon didn't even answer the phone.

Maybe Klaus hadn't disappeared after all. Maybe Bonnie had dropped into some kind of alternate dimension where she was the only person in existence. She considered that thought for all of three seconds. That made no sense. She seriously needed to get some sleep. Thoughts about her bed and her pillow were the only things that propelled her up the sidewalk toward her house when she could easily have curled into a ball in the back seat of her car and slept the day away.

"Bonnie!" A hoarse voice caught her by surprise. "Oh God, Bonnie! Where have you been?" Jeremy jumped to his feet and ran toward her. "I thought. Bonnie. I thought." His voice cracked with emotion that rippled to Bonnie's core. "I thought something had happened to you too."

Bonnie accepted his desperate hug, her thoughts suddenly muddled and confused as Jeremy sobbed into her shoulder. Gradually one word stood out sharply in her mind. _Too. _He'd said he thought he lost her too. Pulling on her last reserve of strength, she backed away from him, untangling his arms from her shoulders. "Jeremy, what's wrong?"

"You don't… You don't know…" He choked the words out in a half-sob. "I thought everyone knew."

"I've been kind of out of the loop. You're going to have to start from the beginning."

Jeremy looked like he wanted to explain, but he just couldn't find the words. He simply stood there – his mouth opening and closing, but no words were trickling out. Now she was tired and worried. What could have happened that led to this?

A chill charged down her spine. Bonnie didn't really want to know. But she had to ask. She forced her voice to stay low and calm. "Jeremy, what's wrong?"

"It's Elena. She's dead."

Bonnie felt the world spin around her. After all the times she'd risked her life to save Elena – after everything they'd all done to keep her safe…keep her alive. Her best friend was dead. "No."

Jeremy's head bobbed wordlessly.

"She can't be. What happened?"

Jeremy swiped at his nose with the back of his hand. "It was Rebekah. After Klaus died. She…she wanted to get rid of Alaric. So she waited for Matt's truck to come across Wickery Bridge, and she stepped out in front of it. Matt drove into the water."

Bonnie needed to sit down. She backed away from Jeremy and staggered toward the stairs. "Matt's gone too?"

"No. Stefan was close. He swam down. Elena made him get Matt out first."

"Of course she did." Bonnie's nodded her head and pounded her fist against her knee. A dog barked in the distance. Somewhere down the street, kids were playing outside. One of them honked a bicycle horn. Her best friend was gone. It was hard to believe there were people out there – living as if nothing had happened. "How are you doing?"

Jeremy shot her a look that suggested she'd been smoking something. "How do you think I'm doing? I've been sitting here on your porch all night. I can't just go home and wait."

Something in his tone caught her attention. "What do you mean, wait?"

"For her to die."

She leaned back, skeptical, a hint of fear niggling at her. "But she died in the wreck."

Jeremy shook his head, his eyes not focusing on anything. "When I took her to the hospital after she passed out, Meredith gave her some of Damon's blood. When she drowned, it was still in her system."

"So she's a vampire?"

"Not yet." His voice was so devoid of emotion, it scared her. "And she won't be." He rocketed to his feet, a bitter edge to his voice. "My sister's dead. She's not going to turn into one of them. She's not going to be a monster."

"Listen to yourself." It took every ounce of her strength to keep from slapping him. "You have the chance to have your sister here with you."

"She's not my sister anymore."

"But she _is!" _Bonnie stood toe to toe with him. "Are you even listening to yourself? You slept with Anna. Last time I checked, she was one of those monsters. I'm a witch. What am I to you? What kind of psycho Gilbert-family-vampire-hunter-genes are in your system right now? You have the chance to keep your sister with you, and you're acting like this."

"She's not staying with me." He narrowed his eyes, turning in the direction of his family home. "I told her not to turn."

"You….you did what?" Without waiting for an answer, she ran down the walk and jumped into her car.

* * *

"Can I get you something? Anything? Some water? A snack?" Stefan was hovering. Again. She'd barely been awake for half a day, and his ever-present buzzing was as annoying as listening to the dripping water in the bathroom sink or the dog down the street barking.

"No."

"Are you sure? Are you hot? I could open a window."

"No. Stefan. I'm fine. Really." It was a struggle just to think. So many thoughts and sounds and scents and emotions were swirling inside, forming a hurricane within her. And Stefan wanted to know if she wanted him to open a window. "Can you please just stop hovering?" The words came out sharper than she she'd intended.

"I just want…" His voice broke, and he couldn't look at her. "Are you sure you're comfortable?"

Comfortable. Elena couldn't hold back her laughter. Stefan shot her a look that suggested she was going crazy. Maybe she was. How many times had she heard her own father use that word?

Comfortable.

_We're doing everything we can to make your father comfortable. She's resting comfortably. I gave her some medicine to help her sleep, so she's comfortable now._

Comfortable was doctor-speak for we're waiting for someone to die. Why hadn't she realized that before? So that's what Stefan was waiting for now. He was here making sure she was comfortable. And he couldn't look her in the eye because he knew it was his fault.

But it wasn't.

Why couldn't he understand?

It was her choice. _Hers._ And hers alone.

"You want to do something? Then stop. Stop blaming yourself. I did this. I made this choice. So stop acting like you're the one who put me here."

"I did." His sigh was so loud, she felt as if her eardrum would burst. "If I'd saved you instead of Matt."

"Then I'd be crying because I lost my oldest friend. And we'd still be worried about Ric coming after one of you." She struggled to find a smile. "Now you're safe. I kept you safe."

"But I should have been the one to keep you safe." A hint of rage filled his eyes. For an instant, she saw a flicker of the Stefan who once scared her.

A knock sounded at the door, saving her from going deeper into the conversation that she didn't want to have. Without waiting for a come-in, the door opened, and Bonnie peeked her head into the room. "Hey there." Her dark eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"Bonnie." Elena jumped to her feet, but the world tilted around her. She clutched the foot of the bed for support. "I didn't know if I'd have a chance to see ou before…." She let her words trail off. Somehow, she couldn't quite say it. Saying it made it too real, especially with Stefan still in the room. Even with Bonnie's arrival, the anger-lace-sadness radiated off him in waves.

"Can you give us a few minutes?" Almost reading Elena's mind, Bonnie turned to Stefan, the look in her eyes hinting that she was considering giving him a witch-migraine if he didn't.

Elena waited. She waited until she heard Stefan's footsteps going down the stairs. She waited until she heard the front door close. "Bonnie." She reached for her friend, finally allowing the emotions of the day to take hold.

"Elena, I'm so sorry." Bonnie wrapped her arms around her friend.

Neither girl was aware of how much time passed. They cried for lives lost. And the future plans that would never happen. Plans they'd made sitting on this very window seat.

Finally, Elena wiped her face. "Did you talk to Jeremy?"

Bonnie just nodded, not seeming to be ready to trust her voice quite yet.

"He doesn't want me to turn." Elena sniffed, hiccupping. "He said I'd be a monster."

Bonnie shook her head. "He's wrong, Elena."

"But he's not. I mean…just think of the things I could do."

"But we could help you." Bonnie's eyes glimmered with a hint of hope.

"I don't want to be a monster, Bonnie. Jeremy said I'd be a monster."

A single tear coursed down Bonnie's cheek. "I love you like my sister, Elena. And I'm not going to ask you to do anything you don't want to do. I promise you, I'll be here for Jeremy…and for you…whatever you decide." She stood unexpectedly, moving toward Elena's desk. "Do you remember when we were in kindergarten, that night we pricked our fingers?"

"When Caroline freaked out at the sight of the blood?"

"We were six years old, but what I said then is still the truth now, Elena. You're my sister. I'll do whatever you need me to do. Whatever." She let that last word hang heavily in the room. Quick as a snake striking, she grabbed the pair of scissors from the desktop before rocketing into the bathroom. Elena hear a hiss and a few heavy drips into a paper cup. Her face was pale when she came back into the room. "Whatever you decide, it's there if you need it." She gripped the edge of the doorframe, suddenly uncomfortable. "Do you want me to go get Stefan?"

Elena hesitated, uncertain. "Actually, can you get…."

* * *

Damon hesitated at the top of the stairs, well-aware that he was the last item on her checklist. She'd said goodbye to Jeremy. She'd cried with Bonnie. She'd practically thrown Stefan out of the room. He was still outside, sulking, waiting for her to call for him.

Now it appeared to be his turn.

Mustering every ounce of his devil-may-care bravado that had served him so well for so many years, he walked into the room forcing himself to look her full in the eye. How many times had he risked himself to save her? How many times was he willing to die so she wouldn't have to?

And now it had come to this?

Sitting in the middle of her bed, she'd never looked so young and vulnerable. Funny, he didn't think he'd ever used either of those words to describe her before – she'd always seemed too vibrant, too real for this life. Maybe that's why she'd had so many close calls with death in the past. She was too much…too bright for reality. A flame that burned so brightly died quickly. Wasn't that in a poem somewhere? If it wasn't, it should have been.

A hint of curl lingered at the edges of her lips. Of course she thought something was funny right now. "What are you thinking about?"

"Poetry."

"Of course." She bit down on her lip, narrowing her eyes at him. "Come sit with me." She patted the side of her bed. His side. The side he'd claimed when he delivered his middle-of-the-night report about Stefan. The side he'd once been lying on when he bounced that teddy bear on his chest. The side of the bed where he'd sat while watching her pack and pace before leaving for their road trip to rescue his brother.

Damn, he shouldn't even have a side of her bed.

She didn't belong to him, and now she never would.

As he passed the window seat, he snatched her bear before dropping onto the bed with a pronounced thud. He had a quip at the ready, but he didn't get to use it.

"Why did you do it?"

He blinked at her. "That's a little unspecific. Gonna have to narrow that one down for me."

Her lips pursed in a very Katherine-like expression, but he didn't think this was the time to make that comparison. "I remember things, Damon. Things you did. Things you _said_."

He wanted to say something to make the moment lighter, but the look in her eyes stilled the words in his throat.

"Why did you compel me to stay with him?"

"What?" Of all the accusations she might have thrown his way, that one wasn't on his list of things he'd been expecting. "I never…." But then he thought about it.

"I don't deserve you, but my brother does." She did a spot-on impression of his voice. Her lip shook, and she started fidgeting with the threads of her bedspread. "What if it was all a lie? What if I never…"

"You loved my brother. You still do." Damon choked out the words. He wasn't prepared for this topic of conversation. Why did he have to convince Elena that she loved Stefan? Why now?

The answer hung over the room, an invisible haze, the knowledge of what was coming threatened to overwhelm them both. He was the last one on her goodbye tour. Any second, she'd tell him to leave…ask him to send Stefan up in his place.

She didn't have to die.

This didn't need to be goodbye.

She'd have an eternity. She and Stefan could…

His stomach lurched. She'd have an eternity with his brother. But she'd be alive, and that's all that mattered. He could beg her, plead with her, make her promises that he'd die to keep, but he couldn't do it.

She didn't want this life. She never had. He'd made that mistake once, and he refused to do it again. So here he was, waiting for her to say goodbye.

A shiver rocked through Elena's shoulders. "I'm cold." She scooted back toward him on the bed, dropping her head to his chest.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, stroking it as if she were his to hold. "That any better?"

"Some."

"Just a second." In a move he'd done countless times but had taken for granted, he scooped her into his arms, holding her to his chest while he pulled the blankets down. He settled back in the bed, tucking her against him, before easing the comforter back atop her. "Better?"

"Much." She nodded sleepily. Her eyelids closed, and for a moment he was terrified that was the last time her brown eyes would ever look at him. "I'm tired."

"I know you are." He'd been counting the hours. Hell, he'd been counting the minutes. She couldn't have had that much of his blood left in her system by the time Matt crashed his truck. She'd passed the limits of borrowed time forever ago. He idly stroked her arm with his thumb as he listened to her breathe.

Her heart still beat in her chest, but it had the muffled sound of someone trying to bury it beneath a pillow. Each breath was slower to come than the last. He should offer to go away. She should be with Stefan right now. His brother should be here right now, holding her in his arms.

He tried to stand, but she gripped his shirt with a surprising amount of strength.

"Don't go."

He hadn't realized she still had enough energy to speak.

This must be his own personal hell. Maybe it was better this way. Stefan wouldn't have been able to handle lying here, just waiting for Elena to die in his arms. Damon could.

He had to because it was what she needed, and he'd do anything for her, even if he died in the process.

A growl came from outside the window followed by glass shattering. Damon suspected one of the cars parked outside was missing a front windshield.

Elena jumped and sat up with a start. "What will happen?"

This was not the time for a life-after-death discussion. "You'll go to sleep." He couldn't voice the words _and you just won't wake up. _He reached out, stroking her cheek. "It won't hurt."

She batted his hand away. "That's not what I meant."

Another outburst of anger surged from outside. Bonnie was doing her best to calm Stefan, but it didn't seem to be working. Typical Stefan. Why couldn't he just be quiet for once?

"Stefan." She could barely form the words. "When I die." Her eyes darted to the window. He could feel the fear radiating off her. "He'll lose it, won't he?"

"Elena." He knew this version of Elena. This Elena scared him.

"He'll go over the edge. I know it." She flew out of the bed, stumbling to the window. "He won't be able to handle it. He'll blame himself. I know he will."

"He'll get over it."

"How?" She threw Damon an accusing look, but he didn't have an answer. "How many people will die? How many people will he kill? How long will it take you?"

"It won't be your fault, Elena."

"It won't?" Her hands trembled, and she curled them into fists at her side. "I can make it stop."

She was venturing into territory he didn't want her to go. "Elena, he'll get over it."

"He won't have to." With speed he'd never have predicted, she darted into the bathroom, but he was too late. By the time he made it to her, she was pulling the tiny cup from her lips, sealing her fate.


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't know if this is a good idea."

Bonnie ran her finger under the line of old script on the yellowed fragile page, pretending to be engrossed in memorization. She didn't want to acknowledge Elena's skepticism. That was better left to the vampires in the room, who supposedly knew better. From where she stood over the dresser, she could act like she hadn't heard. They didn't have to know that this particular spell was practically ingrained in her skull.

Honestly, she was still irritated that Damon felt she was at their beck and call. He'd gone overboard yet again by threatening her if she didn't show up like he'd asked. Under different circumstances she would have made him squirm, but this was her best friend. And... she'd given Elena the option. So really, this was her responsibility now, to make a new daylight ring.

"You'll be fine," Stefan said, his hands resting on her shoulders, mouth lingering near her ear from where they sat in the windowseat. But Bonnie noticed Elena didn't lean into him the way she typically did. Instead, she resembled a deer in the headlights, with a wide-eyed glance thrown in Damon's direction.

Elena trusted him more than Stefan.

It was like a lightning bolt down Bonnie's spine when that realization struck, and she suddenly felt more awkward than she usually did when she was alone with this trio. It wasn't just the weird friendship-sexual-tension anymore, the presence of the boyfriend's brother who Elena mistakenly kissed once or twice. This was serious, and now that the seed was planted, it would be one of those things Bonnie could never ignore again.

She wondered just how long it had been this way between them. It wasn't something that had surfaced overnight. It couldn't have been. Before, Bonnie assumed that Jeremy and Stefan had been the main reasons her friend chose to turn. But now she would bet money that Damon consumed an equal part of that pie.

"We'll teach you," Damon was saying, arms crossed. "The vegetarian way, and the normal way." His eyes never left Bonnie's position over the dresser. He didn't acknowledge Elena in his brother's embrace.

"I'll teach her," Stefan corrected. A chill that had nothing to do with the air conditioner descended on the room.

Bonnie could only imagine the scene that went down after she'd left yesterday afternoon. Damon wouldn't let her back in the house after he'd yelled for Stefan. "You've done enough," he'd said, practically exploding. He'd looked past her to the broken windshield on the red Porsche, glass splintered like the veins that had surfaced around Stefan's eyes when he realized Elena had chosen to die.

And now, Stefan was pretending everything was back to normal while his brother and his girlfriend were barely holding it together. A tingling of doubt hit the pit of her stomach at Stefan's last comment. Was Stefan really the best one to teach her to feed?

Deep down, Bonnie had to admit that she trusted Damon where Elena was concerned. He would keep her in line and out of most trouble. She wouldn't turn into a ripper on his watch.

"Why don't we let Elena decide?" Damon countered, making Bonnie realize she was in the midst of the latest round of the Salvatore Brother Battles. She just didn't want Elena to be the one to lose the war.

"I don't want to feed on people, Damon," Elena insisted. "I might lose control or...or hurt someone."

This was her compassion amplified.

Damon's eyes were a little too bright, and his lip twitched as though he might lose his mind in helping Elena become a vampire. "Then we'll take Stefan up on his offer. You can feed on Bambi instead."

Elena looked to Stefan, who nodded, despite his brother's dig. She sighed resolutely, and Bonnie got the sense there was more of an argument to be had, but that Bonnie's presence meant that it would be saved for later.

Bonnie made a conscious effort to block their energy out once her workstation was set up. The bedroom curtains were drawn to protect Elena, so she lit a few candles with her mind. They needed to represent the sun's rays. She clasped the delicate lapis ring between her palms above the flames, reciting quietly to herself for a few moments. Then she released it and it stayed suspended in the air, drawing the fire toward it. It started to glow from the heat, and after a few more lines it reflected the flames away. Once the flames went out, it fell to the cloth. She gave it time to cool before she handed it to Elena.

"Here," Bonnie said simply.

Elena hesitated for a moment, but then she slid it on. She nodded to Damon, who opened the curtain slowly. When her skin didn't sear, he pushed it open all the way. The ring worked.

"Thanks, Bon," she said, offering a weak smile. "This will make it easier to get out of here so Jeremy can come home."

"He didn't stay here last night?"

"No. I think he stayed at Matt's. It's going to be a long time before he accepts this. Maybe never." Elena blinked back tears as she let out a slow whoosh of breath, and Bonnie still only saw her best friend. The constant big sister who always stepped up to the plate, not ever giving up on her little brother, even through the worst. And now when she needed him most...

He's _grieving_, Bonnie reminded herself. She had done the same when Grams died, lashing out in anger. But should he be in mourning? Grieving the sister who was currently sitting less than 5 feet away? Her own feelings about vampires remained complicated, but they weren't going away any time soon. Thank God, because she'd lose two of her best friends in the process. Still, Elena needed somebody human on her side. Bonnie reached out and pulled her into a hug. "It's alright," she murmured. "I'll talk to him. And if he won't come around, he'll just have to be mad at both of us."

Elena sniffed out a giggle into Bonnie's shoulder. "Thanks."

Bonnie nodded, and as she pulled away she was relieved to see Elena's face was a little brighter.

oOo

A twig snapped loudly underfoot and Elena winced. Stefan looked back, pressing a finger to his lips.

They were on the trail of a fox, and Elena was amazed that she could smell it. Stefan had explained that she would learn the different smells and sounds, to signal what was what. Right now her accentuated sense of smell was a blessing and a curse.

He'd suggested a stag at first, but it startled quickly, a blur of hooves and antlers. And when Elena spotted a doe and fawn waiting nearby, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had a stuffed deer in her bedroom that looked just like the tiny one.

Next, she caught glimpse of orange through the green leaves and branches, and Stefan sped forward. Within seconds, he had it in his grip, neck snapped for the most humane death possible. It laid limp in his arms now. She forced the tears to leave her eyes. She hadn't wanted anyone or any_thing _to die for her to feed. That had been part of the deal.

Stefan just killed the fox to make things easier for her. She knew that. But this wasn't how she'd planned it. Of course, she never planned this at all. Still, that decision was done. Over. Now she had to accept it and move on.

She drew in a deep breath as he walked toward her. Her hunger was causing the adrenaline to pump through her veins but somehow this seemed... wrong. Like eating a salad when craving dessert. She couldn't choose human blood though. Stefan killing a fox was one thing. If she lost control while feeding on a human... Well, she wouldn't think of that. That was a slippery slope and her psyche might never recover if she accidentally murdered someone. Every vampire she knew had killed somebody. It was a savage act that she couldn't wrap her head around without possibly losing total control.

"Here." Stefan parted the fur at the animal's neck. "This is where I usually go for the most blood."

"Okay," she said, both in agreement and as a matter of willing herself to do it. Her stomach was already churning, and she tried to convince herself it was because she was simply hungry.

Elena's fangs descended and she felt the veins around her eyes start to pulse. It was almost like she could see the artery beneath the skin. Her teeth shredded into the fox's neck and she held it in her arms as the hot blood flowed into her mouth. It was... okay. Metallic, salty... but again not quite right. Still, it sated the hunger down to a dull ache from the consuming scream it had been earlier.

She pulled away after a few minutes when she felt she'd had enough. She wiped away stray blood from around her mouth with one hand, looking to Stefan. There was hesitant pride in his gaze.

"I usually leave the body by a tree." He gestured toward a thicket of pines. "Over there would be fine. The other creatures can take what's left as food."

"Recycling," Elena joked, and he chuckled.

She smiled, a sense of relief washing over her now that it was done. She'd successfully fed from an animal. She didn't want to jump the gun, but it could only get easier from here. She would gradually learn control around humans. She could go out every morning and feed like this, so she could make it through the day without the hunger overpowering her.

The fox's corpse was brought to rest at the base of a tree just beyond the tall grass. Elena swatted at flies as she followed Stefan forward. It was strange that she couldn't sense the early summer humidity, but she could nearly see the droplets of mist in the air. Stefan took her hand and pulled her into step with him as they leisurely headed back in the direction of the boardinghouse.

"So? What do you think?"

She tried not to hesitate.

What did she think? The first time she'd encountered Brussels sprouts came to mind, or maybe the tuna noodle thing her grandma used to make. In any result, the blood wasn't anything she'd ever crave.

She was supposed to crave blood, wasn't she?

Maybe animal blood just didn't count.

Still, she'd done it. When she needed to, she'd been able to feed from a fox. That had to be a good start, didn't it? She didn't want to give him a reason to gloat around Damon, but she didn't want him to feel he failed. She hated that this was some twisted contest between the brothers, that she felt she needed Stefan's approval in the kind of vampire she was. Even if she went for blood bags, it wouldn't be right in his eyes. She wouldn't be his pure Elena anymore, and he couldn't risk using blood bags without going full ripper. That would forever be a source of contention, and she wasn't sure their relationship could weather it. And she couldn't take Damon up on his offer, no matter how much she wanted to do it. He'd always been able to control himself, at least around her. The smallest inkling of desire to go to him and ask him for help niggled in the back of her mind, but she pushed it down. She didn't want Stefan to think for any reason she sought Damon out instead of him. She'd chosen Stefan, she'd chosen to turn - she was going to find a way to make this work, so they could all move forward.

"Elena?" Stefan prompted, an edge of concern in his voice.

"It was fine," she answered brightly. "And I'll be able to live with myself at the end of the day."

"Exactly." He smiled, his hand curving around her back to rest on her hip. "You know I'm here for you."

"I know."

She liked it when he smiled, when it chased away the sadness in his eyes. He hadn't done enough of it recently, but it always reminded her of when they'd first met, smiling across the room at each other in Mr. Tanner's history class. Things had been looking up then, after what she thought was the darkest time in her life. And he'd been through so much for her since.

She reached up, her lips meeting his. Her eyes drifted shut, and his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer. For this moment, she could tell herself she'd made the right decision with everything. This was comfortable, familiar... and heating up. His hands snaked under her shirt to run along her bare sides and his mouth moved down her neck. All of her nerve endings were alight and she could see what he meant by the intensity of everything increasing.

"Stefan," she whispered, and he responded by pushing her against a nearby tree.

His fingers had gripped the edge of her shirt and it was over her head within seconds. But something about the movement made her stomach start to churn. And then remembering being similarly entwined with Damon just a couple of short weeks earlier... her mind wouldn't shut off. She started to feel hot and clammy at the same time.

"Stefan, stop! Stop..." She pushed at him and it took him a second to slow himself down. Her vision doubled on itself, and it looked like his gaze was dark when he pulled away. Almost like he knew what she was thinking.

But she didn't have time to process that - much less to reassure him - before the regurgitated fox blood was in her mouth. She heaved around the side of the tree. She stood bent at the waist, hands on her knees, the red violently splashing against brown and green on the ground. Her discarded shirt laid a few feet away.

"Oh, my God," she groaned, before her stomach revolted again.

There was a puddle of red at her feet once her stomach felt it was sufficiently empty. Her legs shook and tears ran down her face. It took all of her strength to not collapse to the ground.

"Stefan," she whimpered as she looked up at him.

His expression was concerned and a little horrified, but what bothered her more was the trace of disappointment that he couldn't hide. Still, he helped her away from the mess and pulled her shirt back on. He held her when she broke down into sobs of defeat, despite the fact that she was ruining his shirt. But Elena was terrified. She'd never seen or heard of anything like this. What vampire couldn't tolerate blood?

"Fox must not agree with you," he soothed, and he pressed a kiss against her temple. "We'll try something else next time. It took me a while before I could stomach the stuff. You got off to a good start. It's probably just nerves. It's been a rough couple of days."

She reluctantly nodded against him, even though deep down she wasn't sure she agreed. But what was one more white lie for eternity?

"Here, let's get you back. A nice hot shower, and I'll find you something lighter to try tonight. Deal?"

She forced herself to pull away, though the idea of more animal blood turned her stomach. Only the shower and a bed sounded remotely appealing. But she had to try. She had to. "Deal."

oOo

Elijah shifted on the Salvatore doorstep as late afternoon settled in. He braced himself to be greeted with the white ash stake the longer it took for someone to answer. He knew he could move quickly enough if he had to - their reflexes were no match for his. But he had hoped this would be a more cordial apology.

Still, nothing in the world could have prepared the ancient vampire for dark Petrova eyes staring into his once the door opened. If it weren't for the familiar warmth in their depths, he would have been certain that somehow Katerina stood before him.

"Elena?" he finally managed.

"Elijah." She looked tired, but she still smiled. "Can I help you with something?"

This was their routine, after all. One seeking out the other for help with an impossible task.

"I wasn't expecting to see you."

Surprise registered on her face. "Oh - well, Stefan's gone to find Caroline and I'm not sure where Damon is, but-"

"No, I mean... Elena, you were dead."

"You knew that?" She stuttered before tilting her head. "You should just come in."

"Thank you."

He followed her into the parlor, and the relief he should have felt eluded him. This was where he'd promised to give her the centuries-old remedy to revive her after the sacrifice. The one which Damon disputed before he gave her vampire blood... how different things were back then. Elijah had plotted with her to kill his brother, where just recently he'd plotted with her to keep him alive. To keep them both alive. But she had still died.

Elena sat across from him in a Queen Anne chair. "I'd offer you tea." She smiled, and he smirked himself. "But I'm feeling pretty run down today."

"You turned," he remarked. "I shouldn't be surprised but..."

"But you know it's not what I wanted. Yeah. That's an understatement," she sighed. "Sometimes loyalty to the ones you love is complicated."

"I'm very familiar with that, as well as the sacrifices we make."

"Exactly."

They were quiet for a moment. He'd planned to apologize to the Salvatores for the loss of Elena, but that was a weak substitution for the opportunity he'd thought he missed. And yet here was a rare second chance with her undivided attention.

"We made a deal to ensure your safety as well as my brother's," he began. "When Niklaus was lost, Rebekah took matters into her own hands. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that. Even my most sincere apology can't be enough. Not for this."

"Elijah, you can't blame yourself. You had nothing to do with how things turned out."

He shifted forward in the chair, shaking his head. "I should have anticipated Rebekah's reaction. To think she would have simply grieved at Niklaus's death was naïve on my part. And because of my foolishness, I broke my word."

"No, you didn't."

He gave a humorless laugh, shaking his head. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that after everything you won't let me accept the blame. But I am to blame, Elena. Myself and my family. And I implore you to accept my apology, if I'm ever to find any peace with this outcome."

"I can't do that, because I'd be lying to you. Maybe Rebekah created the situation, but I chose to die."

He stared at her, his brain already connecting the dots. After all, it was the lovely martyr Elena who sat across from him, wearing the resolute determination on her face that he'd become accustomed to over the last year.

"Stefan had plenty of time to save me, but Ric would have still been out there, hunting everyone. I didn't want that. Unfortunately, no one thought to let me know that I had vampire blood in my veins. I... didn't think I was coming back."

"And yet here you are."

"Everything was going to fall apart without me. I couldn't do that to Jeremy. And Stefan was...well, I couldn't risk it. I thought about saying my goodbyes and dying but at the last second, I just couldn't."

She claimed she turned for her brother, but the look in her eyes when she uttered Stefan's name made him question whether even she knew why she turned. He couldn't blame her, of course. This was her pattern. Never putting herself first. But he knew long ago that this life was not meant for her. She already looked weary.

"Have you fed?" he asked.

She shifted uncomfortably. "I don't want to feed on humans."

"Animals?"

"We've made the attempt." Elena shrugged. "That hasn't gone very well, yet. But we'll figure something out. We don't really have a choice."

"No, unfortunately not. Not now." He stood, as he knew the others would probably return shortly and that encounter could prove to be awkward. "I'm not planning on going very far for a bit, regardless. So if you need help..."

"Thanks. Really, Elijah. It means a lot."

He smiled at her as he stepped back into the foyer, masking the worry he felt. He couldn't shake the sense that this wouldn't end well. But he vowed that he would do all he could and not falter as he had before. Elena's demise wouldn't occur on his watch.

* * *

_LastDayOfTVD is the pen name of the writing team of NotEnoughPotter and LastDayOfMagic._


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note:

First things first. We'd like to take a second to clarify a question that we've been receiving in reviews (and messages). There WILL NOT be a sire bond at play in this version of the story. We're taking our own route here, even if a few scenes mirror those on the show.

* * *

Elena reached for her telephone with trembling fingers, promptly dropping it as soon as she picked it up. She whispered a string of curse words that had never before slipped out of her lips at her clumsiness. This must be what an addict felt like – every second focused on the next hit. But Elena wasn't waiting for a hit of anything.

She was just starving.

She'd been a vampire for three days, seven hours, and forty-two minutes now…and she hadn't successfully held down a single drop of blood beyond the mere drip that completed her transition.

Bunny hunting didn't go well.

Neither did deer.

Fox ended with her retching behind a bush – while Stefan beamed at her effort. It had been an effort not to tug her boot off and throw it at the smug expression on his face. What was wrong with her? Thinking thoughts like that about Stefan. She loved Stefan. Stefan loved her. Of course he'd be happy to see that she was feeding. If only the blood had stayed down. Now her stomach was rolling so much she didn't know if she was hungry or sick or just insanely nervous.

She finally managed to turn the phone back on and had to fight back the desire to throw it out the window.

_Why hadn't Caroline called her back?_

Her blonde best friend had assured her that she'd be here every single step of Elena's transition. So far, she hadn't even made it through the front door since she found out Elena turned.

It wasn't like Elena misunderstood. Caroline was mourning the loss of Tyler. She probably felt like she was drowning in grief. Elena got it.

But right now she needed her friend far more than she'd ever needed her in the past. Elena leaned forward in her chair, taking a peek down the hall toward Stefan's bedroom. His light was still out, and she could hear the deep breathing she'd come to associate with his sleep rolling down the hallway. He'd blinked in surprise when she'd said she wasn't going to be joining him – instead choosing to settle in one of the numerous guest rooms. Tonight, she was definitely a guest.

She hadn't fully explained why she needed to spend the night at the Salvatore's house…just that she'd feel better not being left unsupervised around Jeremy until she was sure she had all her _urges_ under control.

Urges.

Her eyes drifted toward the darkened doorway of the bedroom almost completely opposite hers. She couldn't hear any of the tell-tale signs of sleep from Damon's room. He gave a soft sigh that almost signaled he was awake…maybe he could even tell that she was struggling. It would be so simple to just walk down the hall and through his door.

Elena wanted to slap some sense into herself. Why was she even looking in that direction? She scrubbed at her eyes with her palms, her thoughts and emotions muddling together.

Angry tears welled in the corners of her eyes. She needed help. He'd offered. Why was this so difficult?

She stared back at Stefan's room. He was sleeping peacefully, totally unaware of her current state of mind.

A creaking signaled someone in the house might be sensing her distress. One footstep. Two. Was Damon coming to check on her? Elena stood, brushing one hand to smooth her hair while the other straightened her blouse. Her eyes flicked toward the doorway in anticipation she didn't understand. She turned her back to the door, not wanting to seem too anxious.

Because she wasn't anxious.

She hadn't dreamed about Damon during her short nap this afternoon. And she definitely hadn't accidentally called Stefan by Damon's name when they were celebrating her less-than-successful first real feed.

The footsteps were just outside her door now. He was hesitating…her heart threatened to stop beating. She could hear his breath hitch in his throat. He'd never hesitated before…not even when she was taking a shower. Why was he waiting to walk in now?

Why was she sweating? She wiped her upper lip, preparing to face him.

And her phone rang.

She cursed again, and a faint huff of laughter whispered in the hall. She thumbed her screen to answer.

"Elena, what's going on?" Caroline's voice screeched into the room, echoing so loudly, Elena was surprised it didn't wake Stefan.

Elena didn't answer initially. Instead, she tiptoed to the doorway, cautiously looking out to see if he was still standing there. But he was gone. Still, she knew he'd been there. She'd heard him.

"Elena!" Caroline shouted again. "Talk to me."

"Not…not here. Not right now." Elena lost her nerve. Now that she knew Damon was awake, it was more important than ever to keep her problem a secret. He'd been watching her too closely tonight. More than once, she'd thought he was going to ask her how she was doing, but Stefan seemed to sense it too…and he'd closed the gap between them, placing a hand on her shoulder or her waist or her hand. Why did he have to be so possessive? Damon knew how to give her space. Just like right now.

"Elena. _What is going on?" _Caroline sounded like she was about to snap. "Get over here."

* * *

"I don't understand." Caroline was using the same expression she wore back in AP Physics class. "You're telling me you can't drink animal blood?"

Elena chewed her lip, shifting under her friend's scrutiny. She'd told the story three times so far. The ending never changed. But she drew in a deep breath, preparing to tell it again. "I've tried everything. Fox. Squirrel. Deer. Nothing stays down."

"What does Stefan say?"

Elena looked at the ground.

"Did you tell him?" Caroline's voice hinted that she knew the answer to her question. She paused, but Elena didn't answer. "Elena Gilbert. You haven't fed yet, and you haven't told Stefan?"

"I tried." Elena stood up and began to pace. It seemed that pacing was her go-to behavior right now. "And he saw me…" she cut her eyes toward Caroline, "he saw me vomit the first time. He said I'd get over it. Once I got used to the taste, I'd be able to keep it down. It took him a few tries too."

"And has it worked?"

"I've been able to last longer."

"And?"

Elena shook her head. "I end up in the bathroom every time." She felt her eyes swimming with tears again. This was getting annoying.

Caroline sat in silence, oblivious to Elena's distress. She drummed her perfectly manicured fingernails against the breakfast bar. "Have you ever fed on human blood?"

"Of course. I had to when I transitioned."

"Besides then."

"No. Stefan doesn't want me to." She chewed her lip so hard that she was surprised she didn't taste her own blood. Must have been the vampire healing thing at work.

Caroline shifted forward on the bar stool, the expression on her face softening. When she spoke, it was with the same calming manner she'd use with a rabid dog. "But, Elena, he'd want you to eat." Her eyes fixed on Elena's shaking hands. "He doesn't want you to be hurting."

Elena looked at her own hands. She couldn't control the shaking any longer. It was like the time in high school when she'd done the 24-hour fast to fight hunger. By the end, she was trembling so hard, her dad made her promise to never do it again. Some people just weren't cut out to fast.

Apparently that was still true.

But to eat, she had to be able to keep blood down. So far, that hadn't been a reality. "I want to eat something."

"Let's try a blood bag."

Elena shook her head. "But Stefan doesn't want me to get used to the taste of blood."

"Right now, I'm not sure if Stefan gets a say." Caroline rested her hand on the back of Elena's arm. "Let's help you eat, and then we can decide if you're going to be on the bunny diet or not. Maybe you just need to be stronger before you can make the switch."

Elena hesitated, not sure how to answer.

But Caroline took the decision out of Elena's hands. One second she was staring at Elena with pity, and the next she was flashing toward the kitchen. When she returned, she was holding a plastic bag filled with jewel-red liquid that made Elena's mouth water.

She'd never sensed anything quite like it before. Her jaw throbbed. Her mouth filled with water almost instantly. Every sense seemed to be turned to high. If she didn't know better, she could even smell the blood through the bag. Her pulse throbbed in her ears, blocking out almost every sound in the house.

Her whole world shrunk to just that little plastic bag. Before she understood what was happening, Caroline was pressing it into her hands, holding the tubing out like an oversized straw. Elena imagined Caroline said something to encourage her to drink, but she wasn't sure. All she could focus on was the overwhelming desire to drain the bag.

She took one hesitant sip, and it was better than chocolate melting over her tongue. Cold. Not quite what her body said she wanted, but close enough. Her mind said to slow down…be careful..not to drink too much too fast. Her mind wasn't in control at the moment. All too quickly, she was simply sucking air. Not a single drop remained in the bag.

"Better?" Caroline's voice filtered through the hunger-induced fog.

Elena took a moment to decide. Her hands weren't shaking. And the ringing in her ears had stopped. For the moment, she almost felt like herself again. She could even go see Jeremy. Maybe she if she explained why she'd done what she did, told him that she just couldn't leave him, he might forgive her…and be her brother again.

"Do you need another?" Caroline was still looking at her with more than a hint of trepidation. Something seemed to be off, but Elena couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"No. I think I'm fine." Elena licked the last trace of blood off the corner of her lips. "I'm better than fine. I'm going to go see…"

At that very moment, something shifted deep in Elena's belly. She sprinted for the bathroom before she left a bloody, red trail across the living room floor.

"Elena!" Caroline's voice was half-shocked and half-scolding. She followed on Elena's heels and stood in the bathroom doorway as her friend retched into the toilet. "What are you doing?"

Elena would have uttered a uncharacteristically sarcastic comment in Caroline's direction, but she was too busy emptying the contents of her stomach. Instead, she compromised by shooting her a cutting look between bouts of nausea. She wasn't sure how long she was on intimate terms with the bathroom porcelain, but it was long enough for Caroline to get worked up to a record-level. When she finally rocked back onto her heels, holding her head in her hands, Caroline moved in for the attack.

"Seriously, Elena. I think this is all in your head." Caroline hovered over Elena, her voice loud enough that any passers-by in the street could likely hear the lecture. "I mean. There was nothing wrong with…that blood." At least she chose to whisper the last two words. "I know this isn't easy. It wasn't easy for me. But you have to try."

"Do you think I want to be sick?"

"I think you've got yourself convinced that feeding on blood is disgusting or something." Caroline shook her head, her lips forming an I-just-sucked-on-a-lemon-O. "First you can't go on Stefan's diet and now you spray the remains of the blood bag all over my bathroom."

Elena looked around in confusion. She'd been careful. Not a drop was outside the intended target. Of course, it didn't make the sensation of nothing in her stomach or the pounding in her head any better. "Let me get this straight, you think I'm doing this by choice?"

Caroline narrowed her eyes at her, taking a step back to get a better perspective on Elena's appearance. "Well, what else could it be? Some kind of vampire eating disorder?"

"I am trying, Caroline. I'm starving." Elena's mouth watered at the thought of more blood, but her stomach churned in equal measure. "I'd do anything to hold something down."

Caroline huffed and threw her hands up in annoyance. "But that's just it. I don't think that's right. You're _not_ trying."

"Not trying?"

"Exactly. You could drink it if you really wanted to, but Stefan's right. You're just not trying hard enough."

The last sentence echoed in Elena's thoughts and then played itself again. Elena slowly got to her feet, trying to ignore the shaking in her limbs. She summoned strength she didn't have as she met Caroline's stony expression. "Stefan thinks I'm not trying?"

"Um. No." Caroline looked like a cat with a paw caught in the cream. "I didn't say that."

"Yes. Yes, you did." Elena didn't know if she was more hurt or more angry. "When did you talk with him?" Stefan thought she wasn't trying? She'd done everything but wrestle a bear. If he handed her a glass, she drank it, trusting that sometime they'd find something that she could keep down, fighting the urge to vomit until he was out of sight. "Stefan thinks I'm just not trying hard enough?"

Caroline held her palms out in front of her in a gesture of surrender. "He called me this afternoon. He thinks you have a mental block. He needed someone to talk with."

"So he called you. Instead of talking to me. He called you?" Now Elena's feet were moving of their own accord. She was backing out of Caroline's house without any idea where she was going. "He thinks I'm not trying?" Now her voice cracked, but she refused to cry – not in front of Caroline. "And you agree with him."

"Elena." Caroline hesitated, clearly at a loss for words. "Vampires drink blood. You're a vampire now."

Elena didn't want to hear anything else. She rushed through the front door and into the night.

* * *

Bonnie woke up at the sound of the buzzer. She stared at the television through sleep-blurred eyes. "How long is this game?"

Jeremy laughed from his seat at the other end of the couch. "This is a different game."

"You slept through the end of the last one." Matt shifted the bowl of potato chips in his lap as he tossed a handful into his mouth.

"And there's another game on already?" Bonnie stretched, craning her neck to see the clock on the mantle. Almost two in the morning. How late did they play basketball? Didn't the people at the game have to work tomorrow?

Matt tossed the now-empty bowl onto the table. He yawned and stretched. From the look on his face, Bonnie didn't think she was the only one who'd be napping through a basketball game tonight. "This is Classic ESPN, Bon. They're showing old games."

"We're sitting here watching games that already happened?" Bonnie tried not to shout, but she didn't think she was successful.

"Yep. Final game of the 99 playoffs. Great game." Jeremy leaned forward in his seat, pressing his elbows into his knees, acting as if he was totally glued to the television.

Bonnie knew he was lying to himself. The only thing Jeremy was doing was trying to avoid dealing with the elephant in the room. He'd been acting like everything was perfectly fine for the last four days. That's why she was there. That's why Matt was there. So far, she'd only seen real emotion from Jeremy twice over the past four days.

Once when he thought Elena was dead.

Once when he found out she chose to turn.

Since then, he'd done everything to avoid saying her name. Judging by the fact he was still wearing the same clothes as he'd been wearing earlier in the week…and the smell…he hadn't even dared to walk upstairs to his room since Elena turned.

It was time to stop beating around the bush.

"Jeremy, you know she wants to talk to you." The second Bonnie spoke, Jeremy's head shot up – a mask of pain and anger covering his face for just an instant. "She left because she thought that's what you wanted, but she's hurting, Jeremy."

"My sister's dead." Jeremy's voice was flat and his eyes emotion-less as he answered.

"You know that's not true." Bonnie challenged.

"Yeah it is." His cheeks flushed with anger, and his eyes took on an almost-frightening-steely-gaze. "Elena's gone."

"But she's still there. I've talked with her. She's still my best friend. And still your sister."

"No, Bonnie. She's not. She's one of them. She's a monster. My sister's dead. I just can't bury her." Jeremy's face contorted. The angry vibe radiating off him told her to stop pushing.

That's when Matt spoke up. "Seriously, dude? Are you sure you know who the monster is here?" Jeremy jumped to his feet, lunging in Matt's direction. "So now you're going to hit me for telling the truth?" His voice was choked as he pushed away from Jeremy's fist.

"My. Sister's. Dead." Jeremy landed a punch on Matt's jaw.

"And that's why we're sitting here watching old football games? Dude, you don't know how lucky you are." Using his years of football training to his advantage, Matt shoved Jeremy against the wall. "Trust me. I know what it's like to lose your sister. I know what it's like to have no one. Hell, Jeremy, the reason Elena's this monster is because she saved me. Do you know how that feels? She chose to drown. She made Stefan save me…and she drowned."

"She should have stayed dead." Jeremy spat the words into Matt's face.

Shocked, Matt released Jeremy and took a step back. "You're serious."

"You'd rather Elena be dead than a vampire?" Bonnie whispered the words.

"Dude, don't say that." Matt scolded.

"Why not? It's true. Because whoever that person is…the one who looks like Elena….she's not my sister anymore. My sister died. I should be putting flowers on her grave, not getting sick every time I look at her."

At that moment, an almost-stifled gasp made them turn toward the front foyer. Elena stood there, tears filling her eyes, holding a hand over her mouth. Bonnie had seen Elena after losing her parents and after losing Jenna and after Ric died. But she'd never seen the look of utter shock and pain mixed with total and complete despair in her eyes – not until now.

"Elena!"

"Elena." Bonnie and Matt spoke in unison. Matt's voice dropped off as he stared wordlessly at their friend. "Elena, Jeremy didn't mean it."

"Yeah, I did." A bitter voice came from behind Bonnie. Jeremy took two steps, arriving at Bonnie's side. "You should have just stayed dead. My sister never wanted to be a monster."

But Bonnie wasn't sure if Elena heard his final words. After Elena saw the hate filling Jeremy's eyes, she blurred back out the door.

* * *

"You're up early." Damon looked up from his third cup of coffee of the morning…or maybe it was his fourth. After Elena left in the middle of the night to go to Caroline's house, he'd been unable to go back to sleep. He'd lost track of the cups of coffee he'd consumed by four o'clock. Now Stefan stalked into the kitchen, hero hair already perfectly arranged.

Stefan reached for the pot, frowning when he realized it was empty. Damon must have had more to drink than he'd thought. Stefan settled the empty pot on the warmer and turned in Damon's direction. "I'm going hunting. Why are you up?"

"Hunting." Damon chose to ignore Stefan's question. "Think you might finally stumble on something Elena can stomach?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" There wasn't a hint of irony in his brother's voice.

"Do you really not know or are you just trying to ignore it? Don't tell me I know your girlfriend better than you do."

Now Stefan faced off with Damon, hands clenched, ready for a fight. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't think it's weird that she took off to visit Caroline in the middle of the night?"

"Elena's having some trouble with the transition. Caroline's her best friend. She…needed some moral support."

"So you read the note too?" God, how blind was his brother? "That's a start. But let's get real. Elena's not going to keep anything down that you might find on your hunt this morning unless the furry creature is a hipster who's camping."

"I know Elena's not fond of the taste…."

"Not fond of the _taste?" _Damon interrupted. "She's practically jumping out of her skin every time that she feeds, waiting for you to leave the room! Then she spends the next half hour in the bathroom."

"She'll get used to it. I did."

"But only after months of the real thing." It took every ounce of strength Damon had not to wipe the self-righteous expression off Stefan's face. "Elena is starving. She hasn't slept since she turned. She has to eat something."

"She's eating."

"She's swallowing, but it's not staying down." Damon pointed to Elena's now-vacant room. "Why do you think she went to Caroline's? She needed help, but she's afraid to tell you."

"Well, then, Caroline can help her."

"But I couldn't." Soft footfalls proceeded Caroline's entrance into the room.

Stefan turned in Caroline's direction, a puzzled expression on his face. "Where's Elena?"

"I don't know." Caroline's face was pinched with worry. "I…said some things I shouldn't have. She got upset. I kept thinking she'd come back. I've been waiting for her." She bit down on the corner of her lip. "But she never came home. And Bonnie said Jeremy said some things he shouldn't have…and then she took off."

"What kind of things?"

Now Caroline looked afraid. "Jeremy said he wished she'd stayed dead."

"Let me get this straight. She was upset when she left, and you didn't think that was important to let someone know?" Now Damon wasn't sure which of the other occupants of the room he was more angry with. "And neither did Bonnie?" What kind of geniuses went to Mystic Falls High school? "Elena's been gone for hours."

"We both thought she'd come back here." Caroline's voice was a little too calm. "She's Elena. She's not going to hurt anyone."

"She's Elena. There's only one person I'm worried about her hurting." Damon sped out the front door, not waiting for either of the others to join him in his search. He knew he wasn't going to have to go far.

* * *

Elena paced on the ancient wooden boards, toying with the ring on her finger. She should just toss it over the edge now, that way she didn't have to try to judge when the sunlight was bright enough. One tiny throw and the decision would be out of her hands…just like all the others.

She drew in a long breath. That was a lie. And she refused to lie to herself any longer. The only decision that hadn't been hers was having the vampire blood in her system in the first place.

She'd chosen to die.

Then she'd chosen to live….both for Stefan and for Jeremy. Now neither wanted her. Stefan thought... well, she wasn't sure what Stefan thought – except that he'd given up on her, and he believed she wasn't trying. But she knew what Jeremy thought. Her brother thought she was a monster. And he thought she should be dead.

In a few more minutes, he'd have his wish.

She didn't want to say goodbye. Not again. She couldn't. She couldn't face anyone – not Stefan or Caroline or Bonnie or Matt or Jeremy or Damon.

Damon.

A sharp pain that had nothing to do with her ring and the sun struck full-center in her chest. She wondered if she'd still be standing here if he'd been the one she'd talked with…if he'd dared to enter her room just a few hours earlier.

Had it really been just hours?

It felt like a lifetime had passed.

And now hers was almost over.

She fought to control her trembling fingers, taking hold of the ring, and sliding it into her palm. The sunlight must not have been bright enough yet. She felt a pleasant warmth, not the searing pain she knew would be on the way.

But she wouldn't think about that now. She was doing everyone a favor. Stefan wouldn't have to keep trying to fix her, and Jeremy wouldn't be the brother of a monster. She tucked the ring into her pocket before turning toward the first pinkish glow of the sunrise in the distance. Her hands gripped the edge of Wickery Bridge as she readied herself to face her future.

"Elena."

Damon's voice came from somewhere nearby, but she refused to turn to look. Why did he have to find her? Why did he always have to be the one? He always made it just in the nick of time.

Even now when she didn't want to be saved.

"You know you can't drown, right?" His voice was light. He was trying to sound like he was joking, but there was a serious tone to it she couldn't ignore.

"I'm not trying to drown." Why wouldn't the sun hurry up? If he'd just waited five more minutes, it would have been finished. He would have been too late. The sun was warmer now. Her skin felt like she'd fallen asleep at the beach after forgetting to put on sunscreen. Not exactly painful, but it wasn't really comfortable either.

"Elena." Now the softness had left his voice. He sounded fully panicked. She'd never heard true fear in his voice before – not until now. "You don't want to do this."

"Yes I do." This time she turned to look at him, and she shouldn't have.

He instantly saw the desperation in her eyes, and it was mirrored with true terror in his own. Just as her skin teetered on being unbearably hot, and the first tear trailed down her cheek, he moved into action, speeding toward her and pulling her into the safety of the shade of the trees. "Where's your ring?"

"Damon, please let me go!"

"Where's your ring?" he repeated more forcefully. The sun was even bright enough here. Her skin began to prickle and sting. "Please tell me you didn't throw it in the water."

"No. It's not in the water." She wasn't even sure why she answered him. "Damon. Let me do this. I can't live like this."

His hands traveled over her shirt and skimmed over her, lighting a fire in her core that had nothing to do with the sun overhead. He reached into her pocket, his fingers sliding over her hip bone, and she struggled to keep her thoughts in line.

She needed to get back into the sun.

She needed to end it.

But he had her wrist trapped in his hand. He looked into her eyes as he placed the ring back on her finger with an almost bruising tenderness. "I'm not going to let you kill yourself, Elena."

"I can't do this. I can't live like this."

"I know. I know what's wrong."

"But you don't. You can't. There's Stefan…and Jeremy…and I can't eat…and…." Her words came out in a muddled mess, tripping over each other, as her knees threatened to buckle beneath her.

"Listen to me. I'm going to help you." He supported most of her weight with one arm as he stroked her cheek with his other palm. "I should have been there for you from the beginning. And I don't know why you can't eat the other blood, but I think I know something you can." He inclined his head toward someone she couldn't see. "You're up, quarterback."

Matt stepped into the clearing, a concerned expression on his face.

That's when she smelled it. Damon and Matt had been ready. Ready for her to protest. Ready for her to fight. That's why blood was already flowing from a cut on Matt's arm.

"Matt, no." She protested, even as every fiber in her being wanted her to begin to drink.

"Elena. You're the reason I'm alive. Damon says I can help you." His eyes flicked toward the vampire. "And right now I believe him."

"I won't let you hurt him, Elena. Just drink."

And she couldn't fight anymore. Not the call of the blood. Or the pleading in Matt's voice. Or the look in Damon's eyes. She reached for Matt's blood and drank.

"That's enough." Damon's hand pressed against her shoulder when it wasn't nearly enough, but his words cut through the hunger-fueled haze.

She pulled away, wiping her lip with her thumb. "Thank you, Matt." She was troubled by the unfocused look in his eyes.

"He'll be fine." Damon nodded in reassurance before turning to Matt. "Why don't you go sit in the car?" He waited until the blonde hair disappeared behind the trees before he turned back to Elena. "Better?"

Elena hesitated. They'd made it to this point before. But unlike earlier attempts, her stomach wasn't rumbling, and no metallic taste of bile hit the back of her throat. "Better."

"That's good." His voice sounded light again, but his eyes betrayed him. "You shouldn't have thought you needed to do this." His palm skimmed her hair as his eyes seemed to be drinking her in. "If I'd been five minutes later." His voice sounded as if he were struggling for words. "We'll figure this out. I promise. I don't know why you have to feed the old-fashioned way, but we're going to make this work. I promise. I won't lose you. I can't. Do you trust me?"

Elena considered his words and studied his face. Damon had saved her…again. Right now, he spoke with an intensity that almost scared her, but it didn't, because this was Damon. She should have come to him from the start. If she had…they probably wouldn't be standing here right now. And suddenly it felt like a jumble of puzzle pieces were working themselves into place.

"I do, Damon. I trust you." She realized in that moment that she always had.

Then it hit her. She trusted Damon. _Damon._

_Damon _not Stefan. The reality that she trusted Damon crashed down around her, rocking her to her core. She'd always trusted him. And she always would.


	6. Chapter 6

Elijah opened the massive wooden door to the manor, and his senses started tingling the second he stepped over the threshold. He wasn't alone.

It had been nearly a week since Rebekah left town, and Elijah was almost acclimated to a solitary existence once again. Their parting of ways early in the last century had found him on his own for the longest period in his history, and he'd grown accustomed to his own company. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, the routine of life he'd come to expect then, lying in wait for the moment to decimate his brother.

It was ironic that the universe decided to correct the course on which Elijah had faltered.

Or perhaps the universe was intent on twisting his concepts of reality.

His hybrid brother leaned in the doorway, Cheshire cat smile intact. No grey pallor or charred skin, no signs of any physical struggle. Elijah wondered briefly if he was being haunted or finally losing his mind. But the footsteps echoed across the wood floor as his brother approached him, no otherworldly details to his form. He placed both hands on Elijah's firmly shoulders and grinned. This was real.

"How...?"

He stood dumbfounded and Klaus began to chuckle.

"You didn't really expect me to go down that easily, brother?"

"But Rebekah saw you staked - she watched you burn."

"And then she ran, so she missed what happened next."

Elijah wasn't easily ruffled, but the last few days provided more twists and turns than he'd seen in at least fifty years. He settled into a wingback chair in the corner of the foyer, suddenly weary at the thought of more information to process. He paused another moment before finally asking, "Which was?"

"Magic. What else makes the supernatural world go round?"

And to think he'd never suspected it himself. There was one witch who had gone to the storage lockers with their sister and Damon Salvatore, one who was powerful enough to pull off such a ruse. Elijah should have known his brother would manage a way out no matter the circumstances. "I imagine said magic came courtesy of one Bonnie Bennett."

"Well, she does have a vampire for a mother, no thanks to us. But apparently that worked in our favor. Who could've forseen that particular turn of events?"

Elijah remained silent, his brother's jovial mood at odds with the discordance he felt. Klaus's resurrection was overall a relief, a wrong in his world righted. They weren't meant to exist without the other - this was a truth he'd come to realize, being the closest of their siblings for a long time despite their many rows. But so many other things were _off _that he couldn't allow himself to relax and celebrate.

"Our sister sought revenge for your death," he said, deciding that page next needed to be turned.

"So she cares about me after all."

"Yes, so much so that she refused to run any longer. She killed Elena Gilbert."

As the words registered in his brother's brain, the gloating amusement dissolved from his face, replaced with grim realization.

"And in doing so, Alaric Saltzman died," Elijah continued gingerly, feeling as though he now needed to justify his absent sister's actions to offset the fury brewing. "We no longer have to fear our mother's wrath."

"A blessing to you both, I'm sure, but Elena never bore a child. I've lost the power to create hybrids for the rest of eternity." Klaus began to stalk from the room in a familiar huff.

"And she is now forced to live as a vampire for that same length of time." Elijah interjected, hoping to stem his brother's rage.

Klaus halted and turned. "So now she who judged the depraved side of our nature walks among us?"

Elijah frowned. "Elena merely wanted to live her life. After ours were stolen from us centuries ago, you can't tell me that some part of that doesn't resonate with you."

"Not this far removed. Forgive me that I delight in the fact that she suffers the other side. Small consolation for the abilities I've lost."

Klaus didn't give his elder brother another second to speak before he finally left the room, and Elijah sighed when he was alone again. Katherine had ignited Klaus's hatred of anything doppelganger-related, and it twisted and intensified over the years, carrying on to the latest Petrova. From what he knew of her, Elena wasn't deserving of such a wrath. But Elijah knew better than to truly expect any sympathy, nor did he feel it appropriate to share Elena's struggles with someone so sadistic. He decided to stay silent about the rest, a sense of foreboding in the back of his mind. For her sake, he hoped their paths wouldn't have to cross again.

Maybe a life free of Klaus would be her consolation prize.

* * *

Jeremy should have been more surprised to spy Damon sitting at the bar when he arrived for his shift that afternoon. Alaric's death had granted him a few days off from The Grill and while he had mourned his mentor-of-sorts, his bigger concern was his dead, but not dead, sister.

He was furious that Damon thought any of this mess was any of his business. Still, why else would he be here? Jeremy wasn't looking for anyone to change his mind. If Damon had stayed out of their lives in the first place, they wouldn't have this problem at all. His sister wouldn't be a vampire at all.

She'd just be dead.

Jeremy quickly ducked to the side, out of sight. He planned to punch in and take his spot in the kitchen washing dishes before an argument started. He hit against a precisely positioned shoulder as he headed into the back room. No need to look up to know who would be standing there.

"Move." Jeremy only uttered the single syllable, his tone full of _don't screw with me._

"Oooh, touchy." Damon threw his hands up in mock-apprehension, and Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"If you're here to lecture me, I'm not in the mood to hear it."

"Too bad I don't really care about your mood."

Jeremy started to shove past him, muttering, "I don't have time for this." He didn't make it more than a few inches before an iron grip on his shoulder locked him into place.

"It's time to drop your little anti-vampire temper tantrum. Your sister almost killed herself this morning."

Jeremy squashed down the surge of guilt that threatened to rise into his chest. She wasn't his sister Elena anymore, he reminded himself. She was a vampire - the same breed of monster that had turned their town upside down. He wanted to get away from them, not lose his chance at a normal life. And if he let Elena back in, that chance was out the window. Ric chose to sympathize with vampires, and it got him killed. "Elena did what?"

"She took off her ring and waited for the sun to come up while standing on Wickery Bridge."

"What stopped her?" Jeremy paused, studying Damon's expression. "Or should I say who?"

"I got to her in time."

Jeremy's gaze narrowed. "You should have let her do it instead of turning into a monster like you."

Damon shoved him into the lockers with a deafening crash that jarred his skull. Surprisingly, no one came rushing in to investigate, and Jeremy started to panic just a little as he felt the vampire's thumb press against the edge of his windpipe.

"I don't care what you think of me," Damon hissed, his face only millimeters away. "But she's still your _sister._ How do you think she would have treated you if you'd managed to off yourself a couple of years ago with Anna's blood in your system? Pretty sure you were intent on turning into one of those monsters yourself."

Jeremy's nostrils flared as his chest heaved. He wasn't going to fall into this trap... even if he could remember as clear as day the desperation he'd felt when Anna died, how he wanted nothing more than to turn so he could _turn it off..._

"Shut _up."_

"Oh, did I hit a nerve? Good." Damon loosened his grip and let Jeremy drop to the floor in a heap.

"Does Elena know you're here... roughing me up?" Jeremy huffed out as he caught his breath. His damp palms slid against the cool tile floor, and he gave up trying to stand. He closed his eyes and his head rested along the wall as he sat crosslegged.

"Why does it matter? If she's a monster, why would she care?" Damon taunted.

Jeremy's eyes burned, and he shook his head. It mattered because she was Elena, and she always cared. And it was easier to hate her than to grieve the fact that they weren't going to go on crazy spring break vacations or be in each other's weddings, tell each other's kids stories about the stupid things they did when they were young, or smirk at each other as they made a new generation of Gilberts suffer through Founders events... they weren't going to grow old together. It meant the end of their family.

It meant he was alone.

Even if Elena was there, she couldn't _really_ be there, not for the long haul. It was just easier to have this be the end and to get over it all at once. He couldn't mourn her twice.

He sensed Damon crouching down next to him. Jeremy couldn't look at him and maintain his resolve, his safe apathy. He opened his eyes to stare straight ahead at the brick wall. Damon seemed to hesistate in his periphery, but only for a second.

"You can be upset at this turn of events, Gilbert. She didn't want this either." Damon spoke so softly that Jeremy almost didn't hear him. "Trust me, I would know. She never wanted this life."

Damon sighed, breaking his big bad vampire act. He cursed under his breath, but the whole thing was absurd... like Jeremy didn't already know he was in love with his sister. Still, he was surprised Damon wasn't the slightest bit pleased with this development. Jeremy would have guessed that Elena turning would be his perfect fantasy come to life. Instead he looked distraught and another weary sigh followed.

"Look, the whole thing sucks. And I'm not here to do the kumbaya thing and bond or be your therapist. But this is what you're going to do. You're going to take a few days and deal with this. And then you and Elena will have a heart to heart, and you'll apologize for being a dick. Otherwise... you won't be able to live with yourself if one day she really is gone for good. Because she's not going to survive this without you."

Jeremy looked down at his hands, absently twisting his anti-death ring around his finger. He'd come close. Too close. "I know," he admitted. But when he glanced up, the room was already empty.

* * *

"It's crazy to think our senior year starts in two weeks."

Bonnie's words were enough to send Elena's stomach into a tailspin, even though she was hanging the spoils of their back-to-school shopping adventure in her closet. She knew school was starting. It was something about the phrasing that hit her wrong. Just... worries about being a vampire in school going into overdrive. Would anyone suspect something was different about her? Could she control her bloodlust around her classmates? Or the more likely scenario - could she compel people if she slipped up?

None of this was what she'd expected when she thought of her senior year. She always thought she'd graduate high school, go off to college, then pursue her writing career. Instead her entire future was up in the air because she wasn't human anymore.

Bonnie glanced up from the latest issue of Cosmo when Elena didn't comment. "Come on, what is it? Besides the obvious." She sat up on the bed and tossed the magazine to the side. "I can tell something's been bugging you all day."

The inside of Elena's cheek was raw from all the worried gnawing she'd done, too much for her vampire healing to keep up with. She shrugged. "Things haven't been easy."

"I'm sorry..." Bonnie looked guilty, and Elena knew her friend was thinking about the horrific showdown with Jeremy again.

"Not that. That problem needs its own zip code, and I'm ignoring it for now. I can't change the way he feels, so I need to accept it." Elena grimaced as the vicious hatred in Jeremy's eyes flashed through her mind again.

"So what is it? Stefan?"

"Not exactly…. Well, maybe. But, no. Not really Stefan."

"I've lost you."

Elena took a deep breath. It was time to say the words, even if hearing them meant they'd be all too real. Part of her was afraid of what her witch-friend would think. A large part of her, to be exact. "Bon, I can't feed like a regular vampire. I can only feed from people - like, directly from the vein."

_"Oh."_

There was the awkward expression she'd expected.

"But you used my blood to turn. That wasn't from the vein."

Elena shrugged. "No idea."

"So when you've fed since then…" The look on Bonnie's face hinted that she didn't really want to know the answer."

"Matt's helped me a couple of times but I can't keep asking him. Of course he'd do it, but it can't be good for him. I need to find other- sources."

"And you're worried about controlling yourself."

"A little. Damon said he'd help me, but Stefan doesn't like me too close to Damon. He tries to hide it, but I can tell. The problem is, Stefan can't help me with this."

"Have you tried talking with him?"

Elena threw Bonnie a loaded glance. "Stefan? Helping me feed…from people?" She started folding a tank top, letting her hair fall to hide the burn she felt in her cheeks whenever she thought of Damon now. What was going to happen when they were alone together hunting? Blood and bloodlust were powerful forces, and with any human feelings she'd had now intensified... a shiver ran through her. She didn't know how long she'd be successful in fighting against this.

"No, he definitely can't," Bonnie sighed. "But you're sure you can trust Damon?"

The observation caught her off-guard. How could Bonnie even ask that question? Elena nodded. "He's been there for me when it's counted."

"Then let him help you." The look in Bonnie's eyes suggested she'd never thought she'd suggest Damon help anyone. "What's the worst that can happen? He knows your limits, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but he has the self-control. I don't think he'd let you go too far."

"You're right." Elena left it at that for now, not ready to disclose all the other problems Damon presented.

"I know. I'm always right." Bonnie grinned and Elena tossed a shirt at her playfully. "I'm kidding!"

"Yeah, but you are right a lot of the time. I should probably listen to you more instead of getting wrapped up in my own head."

"Well, then, what about this: remember the college tour we were supposed to take on Friday?"

Bonnie bit at her lip. Elena opened her mouth, ready to back out, but she was interrupted.

"Knock knock."

Her wide eyes met Damon's, and she didn't quite know what to say. She hadn't seen him since he tucked her in yesterday morning, exhausted from her near-suicide. To say this was awkward was an understatement... as was saying he was gorgeous. She hadn't really noticed the clarity of the blue of his eyes before, or maybe she'd tried to ignore it for Stefan's sake. But now that she was letting herself look...

"Hey," she managed, looking down when she realized she'd been staring. "Bonnie was talking about a road trip to Whitmore College, but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

He'd sauntered over next to her, peeking in one of the bags she hadn't gotten to yet. "Why not?" he asked nonchalantly.

"I don't have any control - I've only fed from Matt."

"So I'll come along." Her mouth hung open, speechless, but he just smirked at her. "Five minutes, remember? Just like old times. I think you're overdue."

"Let's do it. Come on. Mystic Falls and all your problems will still be here when we get back."

Bonnie smiled, and for a moment Elena had to wonder if this was a planned ambush. She wanted to list off all the reasons why this was actually a horrible idea, the first one being the person standing next to her. But she was outnumbered, and maybe deep down she did want to go. Repercussions be damned.

"Fine," she said, feigning exasperation, but Bonnie was already clapping. "I guess we're going to Whitmore."

* * *

_LastDayOfTVD is the pen name for the writing team of NotEnoughPotter and LastDayOfMagic._


	7. Chapter 7

Elena pushed Bonnie's bag to the side before placing her own suitcase in the trunk. Every instinct in her body screamed this was a bad idea. Beyond bad, really. Yes, she and Bonnie had planned this trip for ages. She and Bonnie and Caroline had planned to go to Whitmore together since they were old enough to even begin to dream about going to school. It still felt like yesterday when she'd been looking over Caroline's shoulder as her blonde friend registered all three of them for the senior-year-visit. Back then, they'd all been so excited at the idea of visiting real college classes, attending a real college party, and sleeping in the dorm.

Now sleeping in the dorm didn't seem like such a good idea.

Judging from the fact she heard Damon making a motel reservation for the three of them, he didn't think so either.

Caroline wasn't even going on the trip. She'd hardly been able to be in the same room with Elena over the past few days. Riding in the car for hours on end wasn't even in the realm of things Elena thought might be possible.

Who was she kidding? Elena knew she shouldn't even be going. Right now, her nerves felt as raw as if someone had been rubbing her skin with sandpaper. She could snap any instant.

"Oh no." Damon jogged down the steps in front of the Salvatore house with the strap of a bag over his shoulder. He held out a finger in warning. "No talking yourself out of the trip."

"I wasn't." Elena started to protest but stopped mid-sentence because he was right. She really was trying to talk herself out of going on the trip. But how had he known?

The same way he always knew. Just like he knew she'd be on the bridge that morning and that Jeremy's refusal to talk to her was killing her.

He crossed in front of her and rearranged the bags in the trunk of the car before settling his own bag in place. For a two-night trip, they seemed to have a lot of luggage. More than she'd expected. "You're going on the trip. No second thoughts."

"I don't know." Elena bit down on the corner of her lip and turned away from Damon to look back at the oversized window, a tiny sliver of her conscience didn't feel right about leaving Stefan behind. She needed to talk to him…to explain the one thing she couldn't explain, well, maybe more than one thing. With every passing second in her new vampire life, it felt like the fissure between Stefan and herself was widening. Had it already started before she turned?

Fingers snapped in front of her face. Bonnie's expression was half-glare and half-concerned. "Are you coming?" With a wave, she showed Damon had already disappeared into the driver's seat.

"Why is he driving us again?" Elena looked across the trunk of the car at Bonnie. The fact that Bonnie was willingly going on a trip with Damon continued to confuse Elena.

Bonnie's eyebrows drew together in mild confusion, and she took hold of Elena's arm to pull her out of sight of the window. "Do we really have to go over this again? Since you haven't had that little chat with Stefan yet," she paused to wait for Elena to correct her, "I figure Damon's a better choice if we're going to be adding _Feeding on Humans 101_ to the trip." The conflict was evident in every hint of Bonnie's body language.

She was a witch. Charged with protecting the very humans she was about to willingly help her new-vampire-friend learn to eat. But without the lessons, Elena wouldn't survive. "You really want to have that conversation with Stefan right now? Because…"

"No." Elena closed her eyes and shook her head. "Not…not now. Maybe in a few weeks I can switch to blood bags. Then he doesn't have to know."

Elena was lying. They both knew it. The way Damon was looking out at them from the driver's seat suggested he knew it too. First it had been after her first feeding. Then after a day. Now they all knew Elena couldn't feed any way other than straight from a human.

They just didn't know why.

"You have that meeting set up?" Elena tried not to sound too hopeful.

"With that Dr. Shane?" Bonnie seemed skeptical. "Yes. Tonight, if we can get on the road. I told him I just wanted to look through some of Grams' research. He said he'd meet me in the anthropology department. Elena," she put a hand atop Elena's arm, "I don't even know if we'll be able to find anything to give us any answers."

"But you're still going to try." Elena had been clinging to that single scrap of hope for days.

"Yes. If Grams knew anything about vampire transition, I'll find it."

Twigs snapped in the bushes behind them. Matt appeared with his hands in his jeans, a reluctant expression plastered across his face. His blue eyes darted nervously between Elena and Bonnie. "I. Um. Came to see Elena before the trip."

A moment of quiet hung uncomfortably between the three of them.

Finally, Bonnie took a step back. "I'll leave you two alone, then." Just because she understood Elena didn't have a choice about her current diet didn't mean she could still easily stomach watching.

Matt waited until the sound of a car door closing drifted toward them. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, stepping closer to Elena. "I thought you might need…something before you left."

"Matt, I –"

"Elena, you're like this because you saved me. Really, it's okay." He extended his arm, a tiny glint of fear in his eyes.

"How could I not have saved you? You're my oldest friend. I don't deserve you." Caught up in a wave of new-vampire-fueled emotion, Elena wrapped her arms around his chest and rested her chin on his shoulders. "I couldn't live with myself if you'd died."

Slowly, she felt his muscles release as he returned the hug.

Then she felt something else.

An awareness of his pulse against her cheek.

The surge of adrenaline-sped blood flowing through his veins.

Overwhelmed, she started to pull away, but he held her tight. "It's okay. It's why I came. Just be careful."

And she surrendered to her hunger. Before becoming a vampire, she never understood the almost-sexual euphoria linked with the first instant her fangs penetrated human flesh, the more-luxurious-than-chocolate satisfaction as the warmth of the blood trailed over her tongue, and the tightrope she walked with her self-control.

Matt moaned softly in her ear, and Elena was shocked to discover it didn't sound like he was in pain. For the first time, she'd been able to deliver a bite that brought pleasure to the one she was feeding on.

"What are you doing?" Angry judgment laced Stefan's words.

Elena pulled away, leaving more than a hint of blood trailing along Matt's shoulder. She spun around, surprised to be facing both Stefan and Caroline. Damon stood farther back, clearly watching the situation. She should have known he would have been watching. Bonnie must have told him why Matt was there.

A flush colored her cheeks as she remembered Matt's moan and her own body's reaction to it. It was unconscious. Primal. Completely out of her control.

Just like Stefan's face. He seemed to be teetering on the edge of lashing out, and the air was charged with the knowledge Stefan was loosing the battle.

"Thank you, Matt. You'd better go." Elena prayed he wouldn't run. Right now, the situation was more explosive than gunpowder. She'd seen that look in Stefan's eyes twice. Once when he threw her against the wall on the night of the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. The second time when he'd almost driven her over Wickery Creek Bridge to prove a point to Klaus.

Both times he'd terrified her.

Just like right now.

"Why are you out here?" Elena wiped a lingering trickle of Matt's blood off the corner of her mouth.

"You forgot your phone. I thought you'd want it." He held it up to show her. A crack on the screen glinted in the sunlight. The screen hadn't been cracked when she left it on the table.

"What were you doing?" Caroline screeched, ending the game they were playing. "Why were you feeding on Matt?"

"You had it under control. You'd figured the blood bags out." Stefan wasn't even going to give her a chance to explain.

"I'd figured out how to keep the blood down until I made it to the bathroom." Elena bit down on her lip, fighting a losing battle with tears. This was exactly the way she hadn't wanted the conversation to happen. She'd wanted to explain it to Stefan. Quietly. Some way to make sure he'd understand just how hard she'd tried. To make him see it was the only way.

"I tried to tell you. I tried to explain. You weren't listening."

His eyes were practically glowing with rage. Rage and something more. Something beyond pity. Right now, he only saw just how broken she was.

"You were _feeding_ on a human." His nostrils flared with disgust. "You can't live like that. I told you. You're better than that. That's not the way for you…for any of us."

"I was feeding from Matt. And he'd volunteered. I can't do it any other way." Elena was going to explain more. At this moment, she was ready to beg for his forgiveness, but then she was interrupted by a huff from Caroline. "Animals. Blood bags. They don't work for me."

"You're just not trying hard enough." Caroline stepped to Stefan's side. Her eye-roll was so exaggerated, Elena was surprised the vampires couldn't hear her eyes rolling in their sockets. "Whether it's in a bag or not, it's still the same. Blood. You're drinking blood Elena. You've convinced yourself it's different."

"You're the one fooling yourself." Damon stepped into the charged situation. "Elena's doing well. I wouldn't be surprised if Matt actually enjoyed it that time."

Elena felt another rush of blood to her cheeks. She'd been right. Damon had heard Matt. A nervous tickle hit her stomach, overriding her sense of shame under Stefan's glower.

"You lied to me." Stefan's voice was cold.

"I didn't mean to." Elena felt like a little girl caught stealing change from her mother's purse. "I didn't want to. Really." Now the tears that had been prickling the corners of her eyes finally lost the battle. "I didn't want you to find out this way. Now."

"It's too late." Stefan's words were clipped.

"But Stefan."

"Come on, Elena." Damon's voice was unusually soft. He stepped between Stefan and Elena, breaking their eye contact. "We need to get going." He reached out and plucked Elena's phone from between Stefan's fingers.

Elena wasn't thinking. She just followed Damon to the car. He didn't say another word to her, but she could feel the lightest hint of pressure from his hand in the small of her back.

He opened the passenger door for her and waited for her to get inside. When the door slammed closed, it felt as if a chapter of her life was ending.

* * *

The light outside had started to fade, and the Salvatore fireplace was uncharacteristically dark. Stefan had lost track of just how long he'd been sitting in the library. Honestly, he didn't care. Every moment since he last promised Elena he'd try to make it home safely kept replaying in his mind like a relentless loop. He'd never guessed that would have been the last time he'd kissed her. He never dreamed she would be the one who wouldn't survive the night.

And it was his fault.

Yes, Rebekah caused the truck to crash, but he was the one who was too slow to save both Matt and Elena. Why didn't he just grab them both? If he could lift Elena to the top of the fair Ferris wheel, why couldn't he have just taken hold of her hand too?

If he had, he'd probably be holding her hand at this very moment. They'd be sitting on the couch. Elena might be resting her head on his shoulder. Maybe.

Then he thought about her face when she looked at Damon. There was a glow there Stefan hadn't seen in her eyes in far too long. Maybe ever. He'd be lying to himself if he said that light only started to shine after she'd turned into a vampire. No, he'd lost her before then. Even if he couldn't put his finger on when. She might not be ready to admit it, but he was tired of lying to himself. She wanted to love him, but he wasn't sure if she still really did.

If things were different…if she were still human…maybe he'd have had a chance. There were so many things he'd change. He'd prove to her how much she meant to him.

But that was impossible.

As impossible as a vampire who could only feed from humans.

Stefan fought back the urge to throw things. He'd like nothing more than to destroy this room and everything in it, which was why he'd forced himself to sit here in the chair, forbidding himself from even tapping his foot. A fiery rage burned deep in his gut. What had Damon done to cause this too-convenient problem?

"Do you believe her?" Caroline stepped into the room, apparently reading his mind. "Have you ever heard of that before?"

"A vampire who can't feed off blood bags?"

"Or animals."

Stefan pursed his lips and shook his head. "Nope."

"Do you think it's possible?" Caroline's tone of voice let him know she didn't.

Stefan sighed, running his hand over his forehead. Ever since he'd witnessed her feeding on Matt and listened to her tearful explanation, he'd been pondering that very question. He didn't want to admit the answer.

"Do you?" Caroline wasn't going to take silence for an answer.

"No. I don't." His words were clipped even to his own ears. Now that his admission was out in the open, it hung in the air like a neon sign. "She just prefers it."

A hint of the Caroline he'd met when he first came to Mystic Falls came into the expression in her eyes. "That's what I was afraid of." Caroline wrinkled her nose like a bad smell filled the room. "She's just not trying."

"Is that really what you think?" A voice laced with sadness echoed from the doorway. "I _prefer_ feeding on humans?"

"What are you doing back here?" Caroline asked.

"Elena." Stefan jumped to his feet. In his mental to-do list for how to win back Elena's love, accusing her of not working hard enough on her transition fell somewhere below driving a stake through her chest. "That's not what we meant."

"That's what it sounded like." Elena sniffed, taking a step farther into the room.

Caroline's cheeks faded to almost ghostly pale as she tapped her fingers together in a staccato rhythm. She seemed seconds away from simply fleeing the room. Elena stepped closer to Caroline, and she backpedaled as the younger vampire steadily approached her.

"Elena, calm down." Stefan held his hands in front of his chest as if he were signaling she needed to stop. "No one's accusing you of not trying."

"No. You're just talking about me behind my back." She cast a wounded glance at Stefan. "Saying I prefer blood straight from the vein."

The grandfather clock signaled eight o'clock, and the three vampires stood still. As the final chime rang out, Elena's lips slowly curled into an all-too-familiar grin. When she spoke next, her voice was lower, almost sultry. "Because I _really do_ prefer my blood fresh from the source." She winked at Stefan. "It's just not as discreet as the bagged kind."

* * *

Elena dropped onto the double bed with a groan. A classroom visit followed by a two-hour walking tour had almost done her in. The tour was thorough, Elena couldn't deny that, but she'd passed the point of tired somewhere around the College of Environmental Science.

"I thought you were supposed to have some kind of supernatural stamina." Bonnie leafed through a stack of papers on the desk.

"So did I." Elena didn't even have the strength to open her eyes.

"That's only if she actually feeds enough." Damon looked up from an armchair next to the curtains. He'd stayed half-hidden in the shadows for so long, Elena had almost forgotten he was with them on the trip. Almost. He'd followed behind them every step of the tour, looking as disinterested as an older sibling dragged along at his little sister's college visit.

But Elena knew the truth. Those bright-blue eyes never looked away from her. He was always just a breath away in case she got in over her head. The visit to the nursing school was a close call. None of them could have predicted they'd be teaching the junior-level students how to insert IVs during their visit.

She'd only had one close call. Who was she kidding? They'd only had one close call.

"We pride ourselves on our state of the art facilities." The dean of the nursing school had taken over the tour of the building. White tile floors. White painted walls. More than a hint of disinfectant. Walking through the hallway was like visiting her father's old office at the hospital. She was so caught up in the nostalgia that she wasn't paying enough attention, but Damon was.

The instant the double doors opened into one of the oversized teaching rooms, a rush of blood-tinged air washed over them. Damon closed the distance between them in a flash. "Easy." He stood so close behind her, when he spoke, she felt the warmth of his breath on the back of her neck. "You can do this." She must have looked like she had some kind of aversion to the sight of blood. No one would guess she was having the absolute opposite problem.

Her jaw actually throbbed as her mouth filled with saliva. Pinpricks of sweat beaded around her temples, and she heard her pulse pounding in her ears.

Damon pressed his palm against the small of her back. Suddenly she wasn't just hungry. She was _hungry_. A flood of desire struck her deep in her core. Damon was far too close. She was aware of every last nuance about him – the creak of his leather jacket, the sound of his breathing, the scent that was simply Damon…her desire for him outweighed her hunger for the blood in the room.

The last thread of her control snapped, and she was about to do something she knew she was going to regret when one of the nursing professors stood a little too close to a student whose hands were already shaking and instead of merely penetrating the vein, the guy must have practically severed it. One second the future-nurse was prepping the arm, and the next minute three professors were diving to apparently save the unfortunate victim from almost bleeding out. The commotion couldn't have come at a better time. Just as Elena felt her control begin to slip, Damon's hand was on her arm, and the grandfather of all migraines brought her to her knees.

And that was the last of the tour. She must have looked pale because no one even gave their sudden departure a second thought. The dean sped to her side, offering muddled apologies along with something about seeing if they could do anything to help her.

Damon said something.

Or did something.

Maybe he'd just compelled the woman to let them leave without an escort.

When the tour caught up with them outside the building, Elena reassured everyone that she felt fine, definitely up to the last of the tour, which couldn't have been a bigger lie. But she couldn't go back to the motel. Not right now. Not while ever part of her was fixated on something…something that wasn't human blood. Someone that wasn't human.

Elena knew she'd be lying if she said the reason she paid attention to Damon was simply how close he'd been watching her. She had to admit she was attuned to him as he was to her. She'd lost count of the times she'd caught herself mirroring his movements.

Bonnie had spent the better part of the last hour giving the two of them a suspicious side-eye, almost as if she thought there was some kind of vampire telepathy going between them. All three of them watched the clock, practically willing it to move faster. Damon had suggested the feeding lessons would go better after dark. Elena agreed. It would be easier to feed on less-than-willing victims if she didn't have to really see them.

Thankfully, Bonnie had something else on her schedule – something only she could do. The professor who'd taken her Grams' place had agreed to meet with her. The idea that she would have had anything relating to problematic vampire-transitions in her files was a long shot. But at this point,

Elena would settle for even a whisper about a vampire whose transition didn't fit the textbook definition.

7:45 p.m.

The time they'd all been waiting for finally arrived.

"You sure you're cool with this?" Elena watched as Bonnie seemed to be finding every reason to stall. She'd checked her e-mail on her phone three times and gone to the bathroom twice.

"Yeah." Bonnie nodded, but the look of positivity didn't come close to reaching her eyes. "Dr. Shane said he had all the files since Dad never came to claim them."

"And you have a good excuse for wanting to look through them?" Damon's voice was laced with skepticism.

"I'm doing my senior project on the occult. I want to use my grandmother's research as source material. Carry out the family legacy. That kind of stuff. Her mom was a professor here too." Bonnie gave one sharp nod to accompany her well-rehearsed answer.

"Okay." Damon didn't sound convinced.

He wasn't the only one who looked skeptical. Something in Bonnie's mannerisms suggested she wasn't sure about leaving the two of them alone. Just that morning, she'd been the bandleader for team teach-Elena-to-feed. Now, she didn't seem to want to leave Elena's side.

Elena forced herself to think it was just the feeding thing that was bothering Bonnie, even if she knew that wasn't it. Every time Damon crossed an invisible line encircling Elena, she found it hard to breathe.

"Then you'd better be on your way." He unplugged Bonnie's cell phone and tossed it to her. "Unless you want to be part of feeding lessons."

"No." Bonnie's nose wrinkled with distaste.

"We'll see you later, then." He crossed the room, picking up Elena's jacket as he approached before holding it out to help her put it on. As the back of his hand brushed the exposed skin of her arm, gooseflesh raised along every inch of your skin.

"You're sure you'll be alright?"

Elena wasn't sure which one of them Bonnie was talking to.

"I'll take good care of her. I promise." Damon nodded and shot Elena a smile that made a shiver run down her spine.

"Katherine." Stefan's voice sounded cool even to his own ears.

"Took you long enough." Katherine made a half-fist and brushed her perfectly crimson fingernails across her blouse. Taking her time, she blew away any trace of dust before giving a self-satisfied grin. "But I'm a bit confused." She stalked closer to Stefan, reaching out as if she wanted to run a palm over her chest but she hesitated. "It sounds like you're having trouble with…Elena."

Neither Stefan nor Caroline offered any explanation for their earlier conversation, but Katherine wasn't deterred by their lack of cooperation. Instead, she slowly circled the pair, her stiletto heels clicking over the hardwood floor with a walk that would make a runway model proud.

"I came to talk to your witch."

"Bonnie." Caroline uttered the name through gritted teeth. "Our friend's name is Bonnie."

"Whatever." Katherine rolled her eyes before dropping into the chair closest to the dark fireplace. "I wanted to know if the witches had decided to punish everyone for something or other." She gave an exaggerated sigh. "But I'm guessing I was wrong." She clucked her tongue and looked between the pair again. "Let me see if I have this straight. Elena…is dead?"

Uncomfortable silence filled the room.

She arched an eyebrow at Stefan. "You didn't save the love of your life?" She drew out the final four words. "Isn't that what you've called her? Your one true love? Your soul mate? So what happened?"

Caroline cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to another.

Stefan's jaw tightened to such a degree a human would likely break a tooth, but he wasn't human. Neither was Elena now. And that was the problem.

"It was your fault." Katherine got back to her feet, a smile widening across her face. She slowly stalked Stefan, walking in tighter circles before standing directly in front of him, her face just a breath away from his. "You let her die, didn't you?"

"He did what she wanted. He saved Matt." Caroline's face turned an angry shade of red.

"Did he?" Both of Katherine's eyebrows rose in mock amusement. "And let me guess, now things aren't going like you'd planned."

Footsteps sounded behind Bonnie.

Again.

For what must have been at least the tenth time, Dr. Shane leaned through the doorway, drumming his fingertips on the cracked trim that Grams once covered with Post-it notes to herself. "Finding what you need?" He craned his neck, trying to read exactly what folder she was leafing through while trying to look like he wasn't interested in an almost-senior-in-high-school's studies. "Want some help?"

For the head of the department her grandmother once helmed, he seemed to have a lot more time on his hands than Grams did. Way too much time. She'd counted on him showing her the storage room and leaving, not wandering into the room every time she found something remotely interesting.

Did he have a camera in here or something?

"No. I'm fine."

"You sure? Because you don't look fine." He strode closer to her using careful, measured steps. How old was he anyway? He didn't look old enough to be in charge here. Of course, Occult Studies professors probably weren't lurking on every darkened street corner. "You look like one of my students when they forgot to study for a midterm."

"I'm fine." She snapped. Bad call. Now he was more interested. "I just. I kind of like to work alone."

"Your grandmother was the same way." Now he'd changed tactics, trying out the Prince Charming act. His eyes were…insanely brown. And with the curly lashes, he looked like a wounded puppy when she refused his help. He probably had female students on a waiting list to get into his class.

"You knew Grams?"

"We were colleagues," he answered simply, "but I know she'd want me to help her granddaughter. Why do you think I said you could come look through her files?"

He had her there.

She faked innocence. "Because I sounded desperate."

He nodded, giving her a ghost of a cocky smile. "That you did." He walked closer to her, his eyes changing from puppy-sweet to sharp like a hawk. "What files are you looking at anyway? Don't want to give you nightmares."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine." She hastily stuffed the file back into the box. At that exact moment her phone began to ring. "Oh crap." She feigned surprise. "I was supposed to meet friends for coffee. They're probably wondering where I am." She stood to her feet and bolted for the door. "Thanks for all your help."

"Any time." He eyed the phone in her hand. "Aren't you going to get that?"

"I'll call them back once I get outside. I don't get reception here. I never have." She lied through her teeth, painfully aware that he knew she was lying or her phone wouldn't be ringing. She closed the door to his office behind her and reached for her phone.

Cool hands grabbed her from behind, spinning her back against the wall. A hint of a scream leaked through her lips before Elijah pressed a finger against them in caution. "Shh." He lifted the finger from her lips and held it silently to his ear before nodding tersely toward the door.

"_Yeah, you were right. She was here. I can't tell, but it looked like she was trying to find out information about vampires._" Bonnie hadn't been out of the office an entire minute and Dr. Shane was already calling someone. "_I'll do what I can_."

Bonnie had a whole list of questions for Elijah – not the least of which was _why are you here_, but she settled for starting with what she hoped was an easy one. "What is he talking about?"

"The more important question is who is he talking with?" Elijah kept eagle-sharp eyes on the door. The doorknob began to turn in its housing, and Elijah took hold of Bonnie's arm, whisking her into the stairwell.

"How did you get here? Did you follow us?" Bonnie let the first set of questions spill out.

"That's of little importance." He froze as footsteps sounded in the hallway just beyond the stairwell, waiting until they grew softer and softer until Bonnie could no longer hear them. Only after the ding of the elevator and the sound of a door hissing closed carried to them did he start to talk again. "I've recently come across some information that could be…helpful."

"Helpful? How?"

Elijah shook his head. "I can't tell you anything more. Not right now. Not until I'm certain. No need to get Elena's hopes up."

Now Bonnie was even more confused. First, Elijah appears out of nowhere. Now he implied that there's something to give Elena hope. But hope about what? Feeding from something other than humans? Or something…bigger? "I don't understand."

"I'd hoped to discover more information here. I'd hoped Sheila…"

"You knew Grams?"

"Your grandmother was quite well-versed in the supernatural."

"She never said anything."

"I can assure you that your grandmother was a formidable woman to deal with. When she sought out information, she continued digging until she achieved her desired results. When Caroline said you'd accompanied Damon and Elena here, I'd assumed you'd be paying a visit to Sheila's old research." Elijah stared at the open doorway, visibly distracted. "I can see I was incorrect. My apologies," he almost snapped at her, "before I can say more, I need to be certain."

Without another word, he was gone.

The hunger that Elena had felt basically non-stop since her transition was finally sated. Until this moment, she hadn't realized just how little she'd actually been feeding from Matt. While being careful not to overdo it, her past meals had proven to be more like temporary fixes – a handful of Hershey's Kisses instead of a steak dinner.

At tonight's party around the glowing bonfire, she'd consumed an entire meal and then some. Damon had been right. Luring interested guys away from the safety of the group…away from the flickering flames…into the shadows had proven to be far too simple. Perhaps it was the innocence of a single senior in high school making them all too willing to follow her into the shadows.

Now Elena was full.

Perhaps a little too full, really.

After compelling the last of the boys to return to the party, she hadn't had the heart to join them. Damon practically beamed with pride. But part of her was uncertain. Yes, she'd discovered she had a knack for snatch, eat, and erase, but that didn't mean she liked doing it. No matter how hard she tried or how softly she spoke, there was an instant when each of the guys saw who she truly was and terror filled their eyes. She'd never forget the hint of a tear that streamed down one of their cheeks. He'd thought he was going to die.

She'd die before she let something like that happen. No matter what, she promised herself that she'd never let the bloodlust take hold.

Damon walked beside her on the darkened path. The college advertised it as a five-mile natural trail encircling the campus, perfect for health-conscious college students to get their daily workout. That was during the day time. At night, it became the sort of place where a director would film a horror movie. Darkness and shadows mixing with hooting owls and snaps of footsteps from unseen things stalking through the underbrush. Perhaps that's why she and Damon were alone here now. "You're a natural."

It was the first time he'd broken the silence between them. As they continued walking along the path, hint of golden brightness broke through the branches of the trees, striking his face and making his eyes practically glow. "But are you ready to talk about what's really bothering you?" The intensity of his gaze almost burned her skin.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Liar." His voice was a tightrope between accusation and teasing.

Elena looked down at the ground, the carpet of leaves suddenly fascinating. She wanted to protest, but this was Damon she was talking with, and she was painfully aware that he generally seemed to be a single step away from simply reading her mind. "It's nothing."

"Sure it's not." He surprised her by taking her hand.

Not simply taking her hand, though. He claimed her hand, entwining his fingers with hers as he took the lead, moving away from the darkness of the trail and into the hint of light glowing in the distance. Before they'd even taken a dozen steps, they'd broken through the woods and arrived at a bench just across the street from their motel. Elena hadn't even realized they'd been walking that direction.

Damon surprised her again. Instead of continuing along the sidewalk to the motel, he stopped at the bench, tugging her gently down next to him. "Just admit it. You can't lie to me, Elena."

"I'm not trying to."

"Then talk to me." He gave her the half-smile that always seemed to be her undoing.

"Stefan doesn't believe me." Elena's stomach lurched and churned and made her wish she hadn't fed quite so well. Angry tears welled in the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "You heard him. Caroline doesn't either." She sniffed, annoyed that her heightened-emotions-list now included crying at the drop of a hat. "Why don't they believe me?"

"You're one of a kind. As far as I know, no vampire has ever had this problem before." But Damon couldn't lie to her either. She could feel how hollow his excuse felt, even to himself.

"But you believe me." She didn't phrase it as a question. She didn't have to. Every single move he'd made, every moment of support he'd given her, he'd proven just how much he believed her.

"You trusted me when no one else would. I'm just returning the favor. And I know you wouldn't lie – not about this. I watched you tonight, every time you drank from someone, you were hurting just as much as they were."

And the tears she'd been fighting finally decided to fall. "He acts like I'm a different person now. Why can't he understand that I'm still me?"

"I'm not sure if he ever saw the real you."

And just like that – the truth was out in the open.

The reality of those words crashed down on Elena.

She'd known it.

Maybe she hadn't always known it, but she'd suspected it for a while. Stefan didn't really see her. He saw the Elena wanted. The one who was everything Katherine wasn't. Except that wasn't the real Elena.

That version of Elena drowned in Wickery Creek.

If she'd even existed at all.

"Elena," Damon reached for her, resting his palm against her cheek, and it seemed as if his words failed him. Or maybe he'd never been sure of what he was going to say in the first place. In either case, the moment his skin met hers, something changed.

The_ other_ hunger, the one she'd been working so hard to keep in check, the one she couldn't act on…that hunger flared to life. Her breath hitched in her chest, and her heart sped as if she'd been running a marathon.

Blue eyes met brown and what began as a simple gesture of comfort transitioned into something more.

Looking back on the moment, she wouldn't be sure who moved first. Before she even registered what she was doing – what _they_ were doing – her lips met his in a frenzy of days and weeks and months of denial-fueled desire.

He was strong and forceful and demanding.

So was she.

"God, get a room." A voice cut through the desire-fueled haze, and for an instant Elena was worried about the chorus of laughter from spectators. Thankfully, Damon had too much on his mind to deal with anything other than the matter at hand. In this case, that meant taking their encounter to a much more private place.

In a blur, they were back in their motel room. Damon whisked Elena inside the door and Elena had never been more thankful that Bonnie was taking a long time getting back to them with the results of her research.

The damn curtain wouldn't close. Damon tugged, and a stubborn inch kept swinging open. That's all it took for the reality of what they were doing to settle on them like an iron weight.

An unquenched fire still burning in his eyes, Damon took a step back, forcing a moment of clarity between them. "Elena." So much was hidden in the tone of his voice.

He shouldn't be doing this.

Neither should she.

This wasn't smart.

This wasn't right.

But he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

"I want this, Damon. I want you." And no more words were necessary.

His lips found hers again as his hands traveled down her back, settling just beneath the pockets of her jeans, and he startled her by lifting her off the ground. Instead of going directly to the bed as she'd hoped, he crossed the room and dropped onto the small sofa with Elena still straddling him.

She shifted closer, bringing her chest tighter against his. His lips practically devoured hers as they tried to satisfy a shared hunger that had been building for far too long.

Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck as her fingers twisted and tangled in his hair. His tongue skimmed her lips, demanding entrance. Hers parted with a half-moan, half-sigh that drew a wave of growling laughter from him.

They kissed.

They panted.

Hands traveled cautiously over still-clothed skin.

The world around Elena faded in a mixture of passion and lust and excitement she'd never felt before. She gasped as one fingertip rested against the bare skin between her shirt and her jeans.

Not able to form words, she nodded, hoping he'd understand.

He did.

One of Damon's hands pressed tightly against the small of her back while the other snaked beneath her shirt traveling upward. His lips never left hers. Elena wasn't sure which one of them groaned when his fingers slid beneath her bra.

She wasn't thinking anymore. Reality became simply them. Without realizing what she was doing, she began to rock in time with the way he was caressing her breast. Without warning, he flipped her onto her back while keeping her hips pressed tightly against him.

Now he was in control.

A rush of heat flooded her core. Her hands shifted from his hair to his rear, pulling him closer than should have been possible. She needed more.

Damon understood.

His hip ground in a devastatingly slow rhythm, but his lips never stopped their relentless attack. His thumb flicked her bare nipple, and she came undone.

She couldn't breathe.

Her world exploded in almost-painful satisfaction and her vision blurred the room around her. "Damon." She panted, pulling away to catch her breath.

That's when she saw him.

"Oh god." In the heat of the moment, the hint of the outside world the crack in the curtain let seep into the room hadn't seemed too dangerous. Not until she saw the green rage-filled eyes staring at them. "Stefan."

First, Damon was confused. Then he was angry. Was Elena just using him as some kind of twisted substitute Salvatore brother? She twisted out from beneath him and leapt to her feet as if the motel was on fire.

That's when he noticed where she was looking.

Or maybe he should say who she was looking at.

He followed her horrified gaze to the window. His brother's face was contorted in anger so intense, Damon was surprised his brother hadn't broken the window and attacked both of them where they stood.

Of course, they weren't exactly standing a few seconds ago.

Any trace of Elena's near-euphoria had disappeared from her face, and now she just looked horrified and embarrassed and sad. Before he knew what she was doing, she'd sped to the doorway and charged onto the walkway outside the motel room.

"What are you doing here?" Surprisingly, there was no trace of apology in her voice as Elena faced off with his brother, only anger.

"I could ask you the same question." Stefan's voice had taken on a hint of the other Stefan. The one they both feared.

"Were you following us?"

"You weren't answering your phone. I needed to tell you something. I called Bonnie. She told me where to find you. I guess she didn't know what you were doing." Stefan's answers were short. Clipped. Dangerous.

"What did you need to tell us?" Damon stood behind Elena.

"It doesn't matter anymore." The anger in Stefan's eyes transitioned into revulsion. "Was any of it real? The feeding lessons? The college trip?" His voice took on a bitter edge. "Or was it just an excuse so you could fuck my brother?"

Damon didn't even remember snapping.

One minute he was behind Elena.

The next, his hand was clenched around Stefan's throat as he bent his brother's back over the railing. His fingers tightened even as Elena screamed words his rage blocked out.

Brain-splitting pain dropped him to his knees.

Bonnie's soft chant drifted to his ears and brought him back to his senses. By the time Damon could see again, Stefan was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Katherine peered over the edge of the freezer chest in the basement. One hundred blood bags nestled together, taunting her. She frowned, slamming it shut. It got under her skin. Elena didn't have to do anything and Stefan and Damon still fell all over themselves for her, while Katherine remained the villain. They were raiding blood banks to the point of blowing their cover, all to make _poor _Elena's transition easier. And yet, irony of ironies - she couldn't drink any of it. Sure, the new twist to doppelganger-ism was an inconvenience for Katherine, but she didn't lose sleep over ripping out a throat. For Elena, it was torture... torture that she would eventually enjoy, that would twist her out of the mold of Stefan's perfect girlfriend and into the flawed vampire Katherine had become.

Oh, irony. She smiled to herself. He hated her, but he loved Elena. When Stefan finally realized that the Petrovas were more alike than different, he was going to lose his mind. And Katherine would be there to pick up the pieces.

"Katerina."

The voice of her nightmares shattered her daydream. She whirled around, her entire being doused in ice water. She barely hid the trembling, but her brown eyes were wide as they met chilling blue.

"Klaus," she choked out.

Her eyes darted to the periphery. He blocked the way to the stairwell. That was the only exit - if she ran the other way, she'd be cornered in the cells of the basement. Suddenly she felt incredibly stupid for returning to Mystic Falls, as she stood staring her death in the face.

"Surprising to find you here," he remarked. His thumb rested against her jaw and the rest of his hand cradled her chin. Deceptively gentle. He would tear her head clear off if she tried to run. "And alone, no less. Neither Salvatore brother to keep you company."

"Oh, don't worry. They'll be back."

"And pray tell, where are they now?"

"Damon went on a road trip with Elena and Bonnie," Katherine said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Even to the Originals, she was the inferior doppelganger - the useless one, the thorn in their side. Elena never ran, not like she did. Elena may have fought, but never selfishly. Katherine could tell they had a grudging respect for her, even if Klaus himself didn't like her. "And Stefan went out for a few hours."

He studied her for a moment, surely remembering she was above compulsion. He couldn't trick her into divulging the secrets of her mind. He was banking on her fear - a healthy bet on his part. She would do just about anything to make it out of here alive.

"It seems too coincidental that you return to Mystic Falls just as Elena becomes a vampire," Klaus mused. His classic statement as a question tactic.

"News travels fast," she hedged. Katherine winced when he testily raised her chin in reply.

"Really." He didn't cloak the hint of skepticism in his voice. The corners of his lips drew up in an almost-amused-grin. Klaus tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, making her feel as if she were a specimen placed under a microscope for inspection.

"Okay, okay. I couldn't keep any blood down - unless it was straight from a vein. I came to see what was going on."

"And?"

"It turns out Elena has the same problem. Just another joy of being a doppelgänger."

Klaus's expression was one of intrigued perturbance, but he let go of her, satisfied she was telling the truth. Why else would she reveal a new Achilles heel? She drew in a deep breath, his silence unsettling. Once he began to fully smile, though, her stomach dropped beneath her feet. This would not end well for her.

"Well, this chance meeting appears to be your lucky day. I have the answer to your current predicament."

"Of course you do," she murmured, catching the fiery glance he gave her.

"I was planning to make this proposition to the Salvatores, but you may be the perfect catalyst to ensure it all falls into place."

Her gaze narrowed. Being Klaus's pawn was sure to put her in a sticky situation. "_What_ falls into place?"

"The cure for vampirism. Only one dose exists... enough for the Petrova whose human blood I need." He smiled again, and she held her breath. She knew before he said anything how he would get her to agree. "If you help me ensure Elena takes it, I will let you go free. Truly free. No more running."

Her eyelids fluttered, her ears buzzing. Was she in an alternate universe? After running for half of a millennium, she had no idea what it would feel like to have Klaus's pardon, to not constantly look over her shoulder and stay two steps ahead. But the million dollar question... was it worth risking her chance with Stefan? Because it was coming. The instant he took note of the flaws in Elena's new vampire-personality, he'd break. And Katherine had made certain to position herself in the perfect place to pick up Stefan's pieces.

If Elena regained her humanity, Katherine's chance would disappear.

The moment Elena's heart began to beat in human time would be the moment Katherine lost him again. That much she knew, and the wisps of the finality started to grip at her heart.

Klaus waited on her, his impatience growing until he was seconds away from recanting.

She sighed. "What do you need me to do?"

* * *

"I can't go back." Elena sat on the bed, and she was staring at Damon's back. He was looking out the window, or pretending to anyway. Bonnie was at the desk, arms crossed. Her only acknowledgement that Elena had spoken was her eyes traveling to Elena from the wall.

The stiff silence was the aftermath of an explosive argument. Damon yelled at Bonnie for letting Stefan get away, Bonnie accused Damon of making the situation worse by hitting on Elena. Elena yelled at both of them because if she didn't, she felt as if she were going to explode. No matter what Stefan had said or how afraid she'd been that he was going to snap, Bonnie simply couldn't let Damon kill Stefan! And Elena was just as guilty where Damon was concerned. She had her own damn mind, and he would have been hands off if she'd told him to be. But she was done fighting it.

So she admitted it. What Stefan saw and what Bonnie only heard about…it had been just as much Elena's fault as Damon's. Maybe more. Bonnie's furrowed brow deepened as Elena felt her cheeks flushing a deeper and deeper red. For once, Damon seemed truly stunned into silence. No quips. No jokes. No snide remarks. He just appeared visibly stunned.

When silence descended on the room like Mystic Falls-worthy fog, Bonnie had stepped out in exasperation, returning still-fuming twenty minutes later.

Elena wasn't going to dispute that she felt something for Damon just to keep the peace with her best friend. Ultimately this was why she wanted to avoid the road trip. Just about every worst case scenario she'd been running through her mind while packing had come to pass. And she knew she couldn't go back to the boardinghouse. Not now. Maybe not ever. She couldn't be in the middle of the war that had now erupted between Stefan and Damon. The dust had to settle, and she still needed to master the ropes of feeding. That meant Damon was strictly back in the friend zone until it was safe to pursue something more. She couldn't handle being the reason Stefan went off the rails on top of everything else.

"You're coming back with us. It's as simple as that," Damon said, turning toward her.

"You know why I can't. You saw him!" Elena stopped to take a deep breath, willing her voice down to a calm level. She didn't want this to turn into another argument. "If we're all under the same roof, he's going to lose it. The last thing we need is to chase after Ripper Stefan. And I can't go home."

"You could stay with me," Bonnie offered. But Elena saw the glance of disdain pass between the witch and Damon.

"Thanks, Bon, but..." Elena shrugged. "I just feel like I need to be alone and get on my own two feet."

"You feel strong enough for that? You're in control?" Bonnie asked. Her voice was gentle but Elena could tell she didn't fully approve.

And Elena understood - she'd tried to end it all a few days ago, and she was brand new to this. But all vampires started somewhere, and frankly she needed some breathing room. The only one who wasn't hovering was Damon. "I think so," she offered.

"Ric's apartment is empty." Damon's arms were crossed, and he didn't totally meet her gaze after he made the suggestion.

Elena knew he wouldn't be over Ric's death for a long time, and she didn't know what kind of emotions would surface spending time there. But it was the best option of the three. She reluctantly nodded. "That would work."

"I have the key at home." He glanced over at Bonnie, and then back to Elena. "I don't see the point of wasting another night in this dump."

Bonnie slung her bag over her shoulder and gruffly brushed past him. "Fine. Let's go."

* * *

The massive oak entry door crashed shut, and the whole house shook on its frame.

Katherine started, barely keeping her grip on the wrist of the dazed young woman sitting next to her. She'd anticipated some advance warning of a Salvatore's arrival, not the heart failure she almost experienced just now. Plus it was late - as the evening hours has dragged on, she figured she'd be spending the night alone. Her nerves were shot, though, and she'd lost herself in feeding. She was famished, and Klaus knew it from the moment he'd cornered her. She wouldn't be as cunning as he needed in that shape. So he helped her out, no doubt his way of ensuring she wouldn't take off again. Katherine was reluctant to accept the blonde girl he delivered, but she also couldn't say no without risking death. She was indebted to him now.

Stefan stood in the doorway, rage radiating off of him in waves. His eyes were fixated on the blood running over Katherine's fingers. She realized he was maybe seconds away from losing his composure, and that wasn't the way she wanted to turn his world upside down. Going in for the kill together and ruffling his feathers sounded tantalizing, but this would be a full-on massacre. Dismemberment. She wasn't down with cleaning up that mess today.

Katherine caught the girl's gaze. "Walk out of here. Do not run. And stay calm."

The blonde languidly nodded, and as she stood, Katherine sped to Stefan's side. She didn't want him chasing after this meal.

"Don't," she murmured in his ear, catching his arm. She could see him tensing, the adrenaline pumping as the girl left. "You can fight this."

"What if I don't want to?" His voice held the razor-sharp edge she actually feared.

Obviously things had gone very, very wrong when he found Elena and Damon. As the first Petrova to come between the brothers, she knew what fueled that particular look of jealousy. She also knew how easy it would be to temper some of that rage with a glut of blood. But she had better ideas.

"If you want to be bad, we can be bad. But don't make a mistake you know she can't forgive you for."

Personally she didn't care if Elena hated Stefan, but she also didn't want to throw a wrench in Klaus's plans or be blamed for letting Stefan go off the rails. Katherine bit at her lip as she looked up at him, running a blood covered finger down his chest. He caught her hand roughly, and she sucked in a breath. She either had him where she wanted him, or he was going to throw her across the room before he sped out the door.

The next thing she knew, Stefan sucked one of her fingers into his mouth, licking away the blood. She let out a breathy moan, urging him on, and he obliged. Maybe he wasn't in his right mind, but Katherine wasn't about to turn down this kind of attention from him. His lips were swollen when he looked at her again, and it sent a pulse straight down to her core. She didn't hesitate before bringing his mouth down on hers, and he didn't resist. The salty blood mingled with Stefan's own sweet taste, and it brought her back to the first night he'd drank from her.

He'd been so innocent... maybe even too good for her, then. As much as she'd reminisced in the intervening years, she realized he'd gotten better with age. Something about his current jaded state appealed to her. His eyes were more harsh, like the world they lived in. She didn't want him to treat her like the sweet angel he'd first imagined almost one hundred and fifty years ago. She wanted a rough and gritty love where they embraced what they were.

Stefan moved to take dominance, pressing her back against the coffee table. His mouth was hot on her neck, and she smiled. She scraped her nails over the lean muscle of his back as she pulled his shirt over his head. He looked at her before he tossed his shirt off to the side, but there was no hesitation in his eyes. Katherine knew then that this was happening.

"Bring it on," she crooned, and she unbuckled his pants as he tore through her shirt. Thankfully it wasn't one of her favorites, though she'd be willing to make a sacrifice. "I won't break, Stefan."

His eyes flashed at her, and she smirked. "Is that a challenge?" he asked, and his breath hitched when she stopped to feel him. He was definitely ready for her.

"Only in the best way," she replied. Katherine opened her legs, her breath hitching when his hand slid into her folds. His mouth found its way to her breast, and she could have died right now with no regrets.

She let Stefan dominate her because she knew that was what he needed. This was a side of him that fragile Elena had never seen and probably never would. He wasn't tender when he pushed his length into her, and they both groaned. The tension that had been building for many long months hit its pinnacle. She thanked God that she wasn't lying on some flimsy ready-to-assemble particleboard as he picked up the pace. Otherwise, the table would have collapsed underneath them by now and she would have been picking splinters out of her skin for weeks. Their frenzied mouths found each other again, and she drew blood under her nails to temper against the crescendo building. He hissed against her lips, and she sighed happily when his teeth sunk into her shoulder. This was heaven.

And it only seemed fitting since she was on the road to hell.

* * *

"You finally return." Klaus was sitting in the study, his voice echoing through the hall.

Elijah was jarred from his thoughts, which were dissecting the conversation he'd overheard that evening. But he could tell by his brother's tone that he was either suspicious or about to pick an argument. Any other plans were immediately on the backburner. He braced himself, wondering where the nefarious daggers were now. He should have destroyed them in Niklaus's absence, but he'd been too consumed by senseless death to think of much else.

"Yes," Elijah replied as he stepped into the space. "I was trying to track down our sister."

"So it was merely coincidental that you left town at the exact same time as Elena Gilbert."

Klaus raised his eyebrow, but Elijah kept the same smooth demeanor. Lying to keep the peace or protect the innocent was nothing new. Elijah had had plenty of time over the centuries to perfect his craft. "Did I? I had no idea. But apparently you're tracking her movements again."

"No, I went to offer her an option and instead found Katherine Pierce." Klaus's stare was as focused as a laser beam, one main source of their contention now within their vicinity.

"Did she survive the encounter?" Elijah asked, unruffled. He wouldn't have been surprised if his brother said no. He pulled a bottle of scotch and two glasses from the liquor cabinet. A shared nightcap usually made his brother more amiable. Katherine surely wasn't helping his brother's foul mood.

"For now. She provided some quite useful information. Both about their whereabouts and a peculiar aflliction she and Elena now share."

"And what would that be?"

"I'm surprised you don't already know, brother. As concerned as you are for Elena's well-being. Or do you?" Klaus was standing near him now, trying to get a close read on Elijah.

But Elijah refused to cave to the intimidation. Only he and Elena were there when she'd disclosed her problems with feeding, and Elena wouldn't break their trust. Especially not to a common foe like Katherine.

"My concern for her mainly belies a concern for our family," Elijah answered, and he offered his brother a glass. "Was I wrong to worry over retaliation for her death? How would I know if they'd go after Rebekah next?"

Klaus remained silent for another moment, but Elijah wasn't going to lose his composure. These showdowns had taught him considerable patience over the years, and as much as his brother sought to trap him in a lie, Elijah knew the roadmap to waiting him out to gain his trust. He only had another bend or two to maneuver before Klaus disclosed his information. After all these centuries, Elijah was still his main confidante and Klaus couldn't stand to keep any of his brilliant plans a secret. He wanted to bask in Elijah's awe of his calculating mind. He needed to show off that he knew more than almost any other soul on the planet, a fact that meant he would always have the upper hand.

This time was no different. Klaus sighed, the signal that in moments, it would all be laid out on the table. "Elena is unable to feed on any blood not directly from a human vein - which surely makes her transition more difficult than that of her friend Caroline. And it appears following Stefan's preferred method is also out of the question. But I have the answer to her problems."

Elijah still waited, though his heart was pounding in his ears. Again Klaus was going after Elena. For the smallest split of a second he wished his brother had died.

"A cure for vampirism." Klaus's smile was wide, his eyes maniacal. "And our dear Elena will be so indebted that she won't be able to say no to my demands for her blood."

"A cure..." Elijah's eyes narrowed. "I've never even heard of such a thing."

"Ah, but I have. I saw it with my own eyes... an offering from a certain voodoo friend of yours, many years ago in New Orleans."

"Celeste?" Elijah asked.

"She had big plans for you, brother. But that didn't work in our scheme of always and forever."

Elijah mouth went dry, the wounds of his last great love torn fresh. "So that was why you hated her. That was what warranted her death-"

"Perhaps she died to save Elena now. Hmmm? Things have a strange way of working out." Klaus chuckled to himself, patting Elijah on the shoulder. "But I know you won't get in my way. Not with a coffin awaiting you downstairs."

Elijah's jaw set, his demeanor remaining stoic as he seethed underneath. Not even a week returned from the dead and already his brother was threatening him. The cycle was set to repeat, this time with Elena the victim. He shouldn't have allowed himself to befriend her, to admire her. It was easier to give in to the monster his brother had embraced.

But there was something inside Elijah that would never let him stoop to that level of depravity, even with all of his missteps over the years. This time would be no different. He would tread carefully behind the scenes, daggers be damned.

He had to find the cure.

* * *

_LastDayOfTVD is the pen name of the writing team of NotEnoughPotter and LastDayOfMagic._


	9. Chapter 9

Stefan sat up, his head as tangled and murky as if he could still get hungover. A fuzzy memory of the time he'd snuck into the groundskeeper's house and stolen a bottle of the forbidden _special recipe_ danced around his mind. That day ended with Stefan being too drunk to stand on his own feet when his father caught him, instantly blaming his elder son for his younger son's transgressions.

Damon hadn't even fought back.

A hollow, defeated expression filled his brother's eyes as his father leveled one blow after another on the bare skin of his back. Even if Stefan had been sober enough to form words, it wouldn't have made a difference. Not once that look came on their father's face.

Once again, Damon took the punishment that should have gone to him. When their mother made him swear to protect Stefan from their father, somehow Stefan doubted she'd meant that kind of abuse. But Damon simply stood there and took it. Rather than risking drawing attention to Stefan, Damon just turned away as blood streamed freely from the wounds inflicted by the wooden switch.

Damon had _always_ protected him.

Except.

Another memory filled his thoughts. This one was far more recent and far more personal. Stefan had arrived at the motel to deliver the message about Katherine. His stomach lurched at the memory of Elena grinding against Damon like some type of dog in heat.

He should have never let her go with him.

Stefan should have been there. He should have known what his brother was capable of. Elena wasn't in her right mind. Not right now. Not until she could get control of the blood lust. Until she could pull herself out of that frenzied wash of emotion, he couldn't blame her for what she did.

That rested soundly on his brother's shoulders.

He tasted metal as adrenaline surged within him. His fangs lengthened as he readied himself for a fight that was too long in coming. Damon had overstepped his boundaries one time too many.

"You're finally awake?" A sultry, teasing voice carried into the room from the doorway. Only wearing a satisfied smirk, Katherine stepped into the room like a jaguar hunting her prey. Stealthily and determined, she set a glass of Damon's preferred whiskey on the nightstand as she slid into the bed.

She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to the side, making an annoyed noise deep in her throat. "Temper, temper."

Her index finger rested on his lower lip. "Someone's in a mood."

"What?" Stefan finally found his voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Come on." Katherine let her finger drift south, down his chin, past his Adam's apple, and rest squarely in the center of his chest. "I didn't make you hit your head _that_ hard."

Warmth rushed between his legs as a part of him definitely remembered what he'd been up to all night. What they'd been doing.

Katherine straddled him, visibly enjoying her dominant position. "See. Isn't that better?" She leaned down, her teeth skimming over the skin of his chest. "You just need to find something else to focus on."

"Do I?" Stefan had to fight to make his eyes focus as Katherine reached down to grip his length.

"Mmm hmm." Her voice resonated in his chest. "You can't tell me that last night wasn't better than you've had it in a long time." Her hand pumped lazily, keeping a rhythm that set him on edge. He tried to roll her onto her back, but she held him steady. "Not so fast." Her free hand pulled his head to her breast. "Now, tell the truth, was it ever this good with Elena?" She gave a squeeze of her hand to emphasize her words. "Could you ever really free yourself with her?"

Stefan shook his head. He didn't want to think about Elena right now. If he thought about Elena, he thought about what she was doing with his brother. His pulse flashed red behind his eyes.

With an animalistic growl, he lifted Katherine off his lap and threw her back onto the bed. His hands clamped around her wrists, pinning them to the bed as he plunged inside her without warning.

Katherine laughed low in her throat. "I'll take that as a no."

Damon kicked the door shut with heel of his boot. Elena was standing a dozen feet in front of him, her eyes as wary as a kid in her first haunted house. This loft might as well be haunted. The ghost of Ric's memory practically danced around them…as if they needed anything else to make things more awkward.

Taking care to make sure he skirted a wide path around her, Damon walked past Elena, carrying her bags toward the bedroom. Did she want to use the bedroom or was she planning to sleep on the couch? He wouldn't know. He looked toward her, trying to see if her body language gave him any clue.

What her body language said right now was 'get me out of here.' Not exactly helpful. He wasn't just going to stand here all day with bags dangling from his fingertips. Time to make a decision. Bedroom it was.

At least in the bedroom, he wouldn't be tempted to make a move on Elena they'd both regret. The room still smelled like Ric – textbooks and cheap bourbon. Definite mood killer.

And he needed something to kill his mood.

Even while she was set in her current mindset of profoundly-pissed-off, there was something about the annoyed pout of her lips that made him want to wipe that look right off them, preferably with his own lips. Not even Bonnie's death-glare threatening to bore its way through the back of his head on the drive home had been able to stop the stream of very improper thoughts about Elena currently careening through his mind.

One kiss was all it took.

Now it was like a crack in a dam. He couldn't stem the flow of need…he needed her hands, her lips, her tongue…he needed all of Elena. But the timing had been off, and they were both paying for it.

Damon could see it in the set of her jaw and the tension at the corners of her eyes. She was blaming herself for kissing him…for Bonnie's reaction….for Stefan teetering on the edge of becoming Ripper 3.0. The guilt was radiating off her in waves, but he was far from the right person to talk to her right now. He'd already learned that the hard way.

Distance.

She just needs some distance. And time. At least that's what he kept telling himself. So he need to give it to her. He dropped the bags onto the bed, and they bounced with a surprising spring. Maybe he could get past the reminder of his best friend after all.

What the hell was he thinking?

He wasn't. That was the problem. Well, one part of him was thinking. It was the wrong part right now. "Here you go. Home sweet home." He gave her his best I-used-to-run-a-boardinghouse smile.

"Thank you." Elena answered stiffly, using the same tone of voice she might use with a cab driver in New York, although even a driver might have gotten a half-smile. With those two words, she'd doubled the count of things she'd said to them since they left the hotel-from-hell last night.

"Elena, I…"

"No." She held up her hands in front of her, and he couldn't tell if she was just wanting him to stop or if she was trying to defend himself against what he might be about to say. It didn't matter. She'd made her point. "I just. I just need some space."

"Of course you do." It was just as well she'd stopped him. He didn't know what he'd even planned to say. Because he damn sure wasn't sorry. They hadn't done anything wrong. He wasn't going to try to convince her, though. She was going to have to figure that one out all on her own.

She still hadn't moved. Maybe they'd made the wrong call by bringing her here, but since her house was out of the question and she staunchly refused to consider the boardinghouse, this was the best place for Elena.

The keys gave a metallic ring as he pulled them from his pocket. He held them out to make sure she saw what he was doing before he deposited them on the nightstand. "You should be set for now. Let me know if you need anything."

One quick jerk of her chin in a nod. For an instant, Damon thought that would be her only reply. "Damon, I…."

"Not right now." It was his turn to cut her off. He knew that tone of her voice. Before she declared their actions un-repeatable, he was giving her some time alone. Some time he'd use to figure out what the hell his brother thought he was doing, following them on their 'solo" college trip. "I'll see you later, Elena."

It took every ounce of strength he had to walk past her, through the doorway, and out of the loft.

The aged parchment crinkled as if threatening to tear beneath his fingertips. Even the pages of the ancient grimoire seemed to be warning him that he was treading in a place he was far from welcome. Over the years, Elijah's grasp of this derivative of Gaelic had slipped a bit from disuse, but he was still able to sort out the most important point of the past hours' research.

His brother was correct.

Now, he was equally optimistic and frightened.

And he had a visit to make.

He closed the leather-bound book, wincing when the cover tore a bit more from the spine. Careful to place it back exactly where he'd found it, he began his trek through the caverns that were a secret to most non-supernatural residents of Mystic Falls.

In almost no time at all, he was standing on a very familiar porch. He could simply go through the front door, but that would be too uncivilized. He needed _this_ particular brother on his side.

A soft rap at the door, and the sound of footsteps could almost instantly be heard from inside. Excellent. He wasn't in the mood for tracking people down today. At least not when time was of the essence.

"What do you want?" Jeremy spoke through an inch-wide crack in the door.

"I was hoping to speak with you."

"I've had enough vampire-business. Go away."

Elijah placed the tip of his shoe against the still-open door. "There's a matter we need to discuss. I believe you'll be most interested."

"Unless you're here to tell me all the vampires are leaving town, the answer is no."

"Really?" Elijah cocked his head to the side. At times like this, he hated dealing with mere children. Yes, he could force his way in without even testing his strength, but that simply wasn't the manner to begin a polite discussion. "And what if I could tell you there's a possibility your sister doesn't have to remain a vampire?"

One breath.

Two.

Elijah could hear every pulse of Jeremy Gilbert's heart.

The teenager stepped back, opening the door wide. "Come on in."

The shadows on the floor were long, signaling the impending sunset. Elena looked around the room. She could clearly see every wall of Ric's former apartment, and they were closing in on her.

What had she been thinking?

Coming back here was a mistake.

At least away from Mystic Falls, she had the freedom to walk around without feeling as if everyone's eyes were upon her. She stopped mid-thought. She wasn't afraid of everyone. Just Stefan.

She couldn't handle seeing that look in his eyes again.

The one that said she was broken.

The one that showed how disappointed he was in her.

The one that signaled just how far he'd thought she'd fallen.

But.

But _had_ she fallen? Had she _really_? Was she truly doing anything that was any different than any other vampire? Or was Stefan the one with the problem? The clock on the mantle ticked off the seconds as she thought about it.

Damon's face flashed in her mind. His demanding lips. The feel of his hands as they skimmed down her back. The pressure of his body as it crashed against hers. Nothing in existence had felt so right.

Not even if Stefan's face made it seem wrong.

But they hadn't been doing anything wrong. Stefan was finished with her. He'd made that clear when he accused her of lying to him. And Elena would be lying to herself if she pretended she was moving too fast with Damon.

This thing…whatever it was.

She and Damon.

They were inevitable.

To be honest, she'd known it for a long time. She couldn't even pinpoint the moment things had changed. If anything, she knew that telling herself she was still in love with Stefan…_that_ had been the lie.

She'd been lying for a very long time.

With fingers trembling with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness, she pulled her phone from her pocket. Her index finger hovered above the keypad as she debated sending the message that would possibly change her life forever.

Gulping a breath, she started to type the message. She'd managed to write one word when a knock sounded at the door. Her teeth clamped down on her lip. Damon had almost seemed psychic in the past, but this was a new first for him - arriving before she asked him to come.

Elena's heart churned in her chest as she half-ran across the room. She tugged the door open, and she could feel a smile washing across her face. "Perfect timing."

"You were expecting me?" Bonnie took a half-step back from the doorway, her face a mask of concern and surprise.

"I. I. Um. I thought you were someone else." Smooth, Elena. Great recovery. Elena let out a long sigh as she motioned Bonnie into the room.

"Ah." Bonnie looked down at the floor, rather than signal she had any idea what Elena might be talking about. She cleared her throat and folded her arms across her chest while she walked to Ric's threadbare couch.

"What are you doing here?" Elena shook her head, realizing her voice sounded sharper than she'd intended. "Not that I'm upset to see you. I just wasn't expecting you."

Bonnie drummed her fingers on the arm of the couch in one of the same nervous mannerisms she'd used since she was in kindergarten. She swallowed twice before clearing her throat.

"Bonnie?"

"I know why Stefan drove out to find us."

Of all the things Elena had been expecting, that response hadn't been it. She'd anticipated being on the receiving end of a what-the-hell-were-you-doing-with-Damon lecture now that they were alone – not her age-old best friend coming to report on why her ex-boyfriend suddenly crashed their college trip. Honestly, Elena wasn't sure if she wanted to know anymore, especially not if it was the reason Bonnie had the strange look on her face. But Elena had to get rid of Bonnie before she could take care of business with Damon. "And why?"

"Because Katherine is here."

Now Elena dropped into the chair next to the couch. Whenever Katherine's name entered the conversation, the rest of the story wasn't going to be short or sweet or anything close to simple. "Katherine." Elena wasn't sure if she repeated her nemesis' name as a curse or simply muttered annoyance. "And what did she want?"

"Something's wrong."

"Of course something's wrong. She's back in town."

"No." Bonnie shook her head. "It's not that simple. When you became a vampire. Something…went wrong. She can't drink blood from a bag anymore either."

"She what?" Now Elena was interested.

"Katherine came to town because she thought the witches had done something." Bonnie rolled her eyes as if she was critiquing the idea that would even have been possible. "But then she heard about you."

"Me?"

"You're the doppleganger. The one who kept the balance of nature. And now you're a vampire."

"So was Katherine. She could drink from blood bags before."

Bonnie shrugged her shoulders. "I can't explain it. But something happened when you turned. Something went wrong."

"That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" Bonnie shifted forward in her seat, and her voice took on a serious edge. "The whole doppleganger line was created to balance the supernatural world. When Katherine turned, that line was still safe."

"What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything. Just reminding you of something Klaus even said. You're the last Petrova. The doppleganger line ends with you. That's…that's not good."

Before Elena had the chance to dwell on what exactly Bonnie could have meant by not good, another knock sounded at the door. She shot to her feet in surprise.

"That's probably Jeremy." Bonnie nodded toward the doorway.

"Jeremy? Does _everyone_ know I'm here?"

Bonnie chewed her lip and shook her head. "He called me. And I thought you needed to talk to him."

"Because?"

"It'd probably be better to have him explain."

Jeremy sat opposite Elena with the same eager-puppy expression on his face that he'd worn the day he'd learned to tie his shoes. Just like that day decades ago, Elena sensed she hadn't summoned quite enough excitement for his news. He shifted forward in his seat on the couch, his elbow digging into his knee. "Come on, Elena, this is good news."

The world was still spinning around her.

She wasn't sure if she'd heard him correctly.

And even if she had, she'd been living in the realm of the supernatural that called itself Mystic Falls long enough to never take things at face value – especially if those things sound too good to be true.

"A cure? For vampirism?" Elena could hardly string the words together. If a cure existed, wouldn't it have appeared long before now? "And now we're trusting Elijah?"

Jeremy shrugged but didn't look less convinced. "At least it's something."

She turned to face Bonnie, and she was surprised to see that her friend wasn't wearing a totally skeptical expression. "You don't think…"

"I don't know what to think." Bonnie interrupted, shaking her head. "But Elijah didn't explain why he was at the college."

"Elijah was there?" Why did Elena suddenly feel like she was playing hide and seek without knowing who else was in on the game? "You didn't tell me he was there."

"I was going to." Bonnie gave an uncomfortable shift in her seat. "But you were busy counting Damon's teeth when I came back."

"She was…" Jeremy blinked between Bonnie and Elena. "You and Damon?" His words held more of a sting of accusation than they'd carried when he realized she'd allowed herself to turn. "You." He stood, backing away. "And Damon." His nose wrinkled like the scent of rotten garbage filled the room. "I don't even know you anymore."

Elena clutched at the couch cushion beneath her. This wasn't how it was supposed to have gone. When Jeremy had appeared at Ric's door, she'd hoped they'd have the chance to start over…or at least sit down in the same room at the same time.

Now it felt like her world was spinning.

She could hear Jeremy's heart pounding from her seat halfway across the room. Without warning, saliva flooded her mouth as her vision shifted to that not of Jeremy's sister but into a predator's point of view. It only lasted an instant. Elena composed herself almost immediately, but it was enough.

Jeremy's back was flush against the door. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. She didn't need her vampire senses to know he was scared of her.

Bonnie wasn't any better. Every muscle in her friend's body was tensed. The spell to inflict a vampire-headache already on her lips.

"No. No. I'm fine." Building tears blocked Elena's ability to focus on Jeremy's face. "You don't have to be afraid of me. I'd never."

"We shouldn't even have to have this conversation." Jeremy spat the words like weapons. "You shouldn't be a monster. That's why I'm willing to trust Elijah." Without giving her a chance to reply, he turned and bolted out of the loft.

"I'll go get him." Bonnie stood, chasing at Jeremy's heels. "I'll take care of him. I promise."

Damon.

One word stood out starkly on the screen of his phone. It had been there for the past five minutes – taunting him. Surely Elena wasn't finished sending her text.

So he kept waiting.

And waiting.

He wouldn't take the bait.

His eyes narrowed as he glared at his screen. Was it bait? Was he sure? Knowing Elena's current state of mind, he could never be too careful. Without sending a message of his own, he tossed cash on the bar at the Grill and left. Tires squealed in the distance, and he turned to look in the direction the noise came from, anticipating a crash.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

Metal ground against metal. If Elena had her car with her, he'd go investigate. As for now, whoever was in the wreck was simply a distraction he didn't need.

In no time at all, he was in the lobby at Ric's apartment. He'd never been so happy his former-best-friend's house was so close to his favorite bar. He mounted the stairs and knocked on the door, not sure what to expect from Elena.

He didn't have to wait long.

His knuckles were still lingering on the wood when the door opened. A flicker of dismay passed over Elena's eyes when her eyes met his. "I'm not who you were expecting?"

"Yes." She swallowed thickly. "No."

Her lip trembled, and he noticed the trail of tears down her cheeks. "What happened?" He led her to the couch before settling next to her. He brushed a strand of tear-dampened hair behind her ear. A thought crossed his mind, and his blood started to boil. "Did Stefan?"

"No." She choked her answer down, then she almost laughed. "Wrong brother."

"Jeremy?"

Elena nodded, inhaling sharply through her nose. "He came by to tell me something. Elijah had told him about a cure."

"A cure?"

"Jeremy said Elijah insisted it's real. He was so excited."

"And you weren't."

She bit down on her lower lip and shrugged a shoulder. "How could I be? It's never that simple. The moonstone. The sun and the moon curse. I mean, Katherine wasn't even in the church."

He had to give Elena credit. She had a point. "So you didn't want to get your hopes up."

Elena turned her eyes up toward the ceiling. She was trying to avoid looking at him. He understood. God, he understood. She'd never wanted this life. But how could she tell him that?

"It's not that." She locked eyes with him. "For an instant, I didn't want the cure."

_That_ was a surprise.

Her breathing slowed, and her hands stopped shaking. She rested her palm on his knee. "I'd just figured out how to make this whole thing work."

Something in the expression in her eyes made him curious.

But he was also beyond afraid. This version of Elena was exactly who he'd known she could always be, but she'd surprised him more than once. He desperately didn't want to be wrong this time. "Do I want to know?"

"Yes." She edged closer to him on the couch. Her voice dropped to a smooth and sultry level that instantly had him ready to pick up where they'd left off just 24 hours earlier. "Yes, you do."

She was on top of him so fast, he almost didn't know what she was doing. Her hands pinned him back against the couch as she locked lips with him. It wasn't a sweet kiss. And there was no hesitation in it.

Elena was full of desire and want and need.

Damon was more than ready to deliver. He almost didn't hear Elena's phone buzzing on the table. Thankfully, she didn't. He swatted it to the floor as if it was just a fly buzzing around them.

Nothing was going to interrupt this moment.

Not when Elena's hands were already tugging at the fly of his jeans.

He'd dreamed about this moment. Hell, he'd fantasized about it when he was awake. She shrugged out of her shirt, revealing a wealth of smooth, olive skin completely bare and ready for him.

He couldn't resist.

His lips found her waiting nipple, and the sound in her throat made him groan too. He felt like a teenager – straining to resist moving too fast. No matter how ready they both were, he wasn't going to let this moment pass in the blink of an eye.

Elena seemed to be determined to test his limits. She'd managed to work his jeans down around his hips while he was distracted with her breasts. Her hands closed around his length, and he couldn't hold back a shudder.

"Elena, I'm…"

A knock at the door penetrated his senses. Not just a knock. Pounding with an urgency that shook him to his core. Then he heard Bonnie's voice. "Elena. Elena, open up. It's an emergency. Something's wrong. " The door flew open, and he had to give Bonnie credit, she didn't even blink. That's when he realized how badly things must have gone wrong. "Elena, it's Jeremy."

Author's note: I'm sorry for the delay. The length of time between chapters rests solely on my shoulders (NotEnoughPotter). Next time I'll make certain the chapter is written BEFORE I go on two back-to-back trips. Hope you enjoyed it!

Thanks for continuing to review and let us know you're enjoying our version of the way we'd wished TVD had been written.


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